i'm a turkey! watch me fly!

quick links

2006-11-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

ho enjoyed the following blogs which i sent her.. hoping you GALS would too:

a surprise!

2006-11-11T11:35:00.000+08:00

quick post: Received a surprise message from Steve of D2xs .. to my youtube account no less! And it was an invitation to view his dance videos..

i liked steve's style a lot although i've never taken his class (cos it looked so challenging and my jazz skills are just not up to par..) it's all very sensual and a high level of jazz funk.. (Jeannie, if you are reading this - Ryan's street jazz class is the same style)

Here's Steve and Sarah of 2xs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4koVamySalE

enjoy.

hiatus again

2006-11-07T09:48:00.000+08:00

you've heard it before..

now, you're hearing it again..

this blog will be barren for at least the next 6 weeks..

too caught up with work and all the other commitments that just seem to be falling in.

god bless all.

WHAM.

2006-10-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

This week is gonna be a whammy with so many things going on and happening all through the week. I'm gonna be quite burnt out.

Having said that, we have had a very full-on day today with 5 back-to-back lectures. The last one being the worst of the lot - it was about orchids (as the lecturer called them - he was in fact referring to cryptorchidism.) rawr.

there were more than enough disgusting dirty jokes throughout the lecture.. So much that I thought Uncle Jojo's face would be a tomato at the end of the entire session... Neways, i thought the following one made an interesting scientific fact.

Have you ever heard of the cremasteric reflex?

MEN have cremasteric muscles. Muscles that women do not possess. These muscles are apparently found in small little mammals such as squirrels as one. In squirrels, when they get into fights, these cremasteric muscles get into action by pulling the testes closer to the body. This is a reflex to protect the balls during fights!

WOW. Clever squirrels.

Unfortunately, men's cremasteric muscles do not give them retractile testis... which makes it pretty good for girls to still kick them in the balls.

'nuff said.

wick whack patty whack give a dog a bone

2006-10-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

HOLY MOLLY! This move is gonna be bigger than the Singapore workout or those line dancing that you have been seeing!!

And it's got a FUNKY name to match called wick whack patty whack give a dog a bone... ROOF...

haha, so you Singgies, and Ozzies, you are seeing this here first! hahaha.. TRY IT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR! YOU could be the next biggg thing with this move yaaa know?! HEEHA!!

Sometimes...

2006-10-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

These are the only times when I feel like being a boy! This looks like so much fun! And it ain't half as fun to be a girl to do that.. Don't ask me.. I don't know why.. I guess the female anatomy is just not right for moves like that. Much like how MOST (we all noe who the exception is :p) guys don't look good doing girls' hip hop..

Love and relationship part 3

2006-10-24T11:15:00.001+08:00

**read part 1 & 2 below first ***

Be it watching your husband scale that ambitious ladder in life whilst doing your best supportive role as a spouse, tending to the kids and doing the little things in life that you feel is your calling.

The big question ain't "do we love each other?" The big question is "Can we complement each other to unite as a whole and work for that common future?"
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btw, do take note: music's been updated on the front page.

And yea, i guess.. seeing so much of break ups, cynicism over the years have more or less inspired this entry.

Love and relationship part 2

2006-10-24T10:55:00.000+08:00

** read part one below first ***

But relationships are such complex things. There will always be love in a relationship. But different expectations, different directions, different dreams, experiences often tear relationships apart.

On our senggarang trip, our GP said that it's best that doctors married doctors.. so that they would be able to understand each other better.

Again, it boils down to the old question of "opposites attract" versus "like-like" couplehood.

I don't have enough experience to critique on this.

However, I think that there has to be a common ground, esp. on the direction the relationship is going. The plans and the dreams for the future. There may be love, but how is a guy who wants no kid, and a girl who wants 4 kids gonna compromise and find a common ground? Or how about a girl with total life-long devotion to God and a guy who doesn't know God and can't understand her devotion? How about the girl who wants to work in under-developed countries and the guy who wants to become the top surgeon in USA?

The issues are real. Nobody enters a relationship wanting to split up. Nobody enters a relationship without care/concern for the other party. It's just where we wanna go, who wanna become that split us up.

We all grow in a relationship.. the couples with different personalities and beliefs grow more than everyone else - learning to embrace diversity in the name of love. Then comes crunch time - can you give up all your ideals, your dreams to continue embracing this diversity?

Sometimes, it's not just about love.

It's about this calling in life.

It's about uniting as one to work towards that calling.

Be it having a happy family, raising 3 kids, watching them grow whilst watching each other age. **continued**

Love and relationship 1

2006-10-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

I wasn't sure if I should write this. I've been praying about it. If I should even write this out.. But ultimately, I realised that I should write part of it out. May be, some other day for the rest..

I know my stand on this change all the time.

If you've been following my blog, you would have known that this stand has been changing through the years.

Hmm, but right now, being where I am now, and having a nice, whole, smashable heart once again, puts me on another stand I guess. Or then again, perhaps I've returned to who I was before I ever left for Melbourne. All of those ideals of love have returned to me.

I still believe in love. But more than anything, I don't believe that love dies.

I don't believe that there's an opposite to love. That hatred or animosity comes in when an intimate relationship ends.

Love is just love. Such a difficult thing to express, yet one of the most innate emotion of mankind. I don't believe that care and concern just disappears with a snap. I don't believe that the special position that someone used to occupy just vanish. Nor does it truly become a void. Because each individual is unique.

Even when you've been hurt, you know that if you truly love, you could forgive. And that some part of you still cares, still wishes the best for the person.

Honestly, how many of us would curse and swear at the person whom we thought we would spend the rest of our lives with? How many of us would truly rejoice when some thing bad has happened to the person?

There will always be love, my friends. It just takes faith for you to believe that it doesn't die. That even when it's not verbalised, expressed, believe that it's there.

Senggarang part 3

2006-10-24T10:37:00.001+08:00

** refer to part one and two below ***

Yups, and the night activity that kept all of us awake till 2 am was MAHJONG. goodness. Playing with these experts ain't easy. All their formations scare the small fry outta me.

The next day was followed by more wandering around the village and talking to villagers. There was this lady who was so sweet!! She gave us duck eggs as presents! OOHHH! And we actually managed to get quite a bit of shopping done (yes, girls can shop everywhere).

It was pretty cool watching the villagers bake their love letters and pineapple tarts.. oh, and the load of fish that the fishermen bring in!

So all in all, yups, it was a good trip! :)

senggarang part 2

2006-10-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

*** refer to part one below ***
The clinic was good, except for a booboo which will not be written here. Got to take blood pressure, dispense medicine and converse in 1/4 hokkien and Malay sentences. I think I would have looked awfully funny with all the pointing to body parts. Yups, and we were to take 5 minutes history cos there was only one GP, and he was so poorly overworked!

Hypertension is such a prevalent disease over there that it's scary. It just dawned on me that may be these villagers need more education instead of medication. What's the point if there's no lifestyle modifications but there's atenolol to lower your medications? It's almost like putting oily salty food on the person's left hand and atenolol on the right and HOPING at the same time for the blood pressure to drop. And, seriously, do you think that would happen??

By the time we were done with the night clinic, it was 9 pm. We saw at least 80 patients for the entire day. And on our way back, we bumped into little crabs crawling on the pavement! WHEE! The funny little thing was crawling all over the place in its typical horizontal direction. BAH. But the worst part came when Dom went over and accidentally pulled off its leggy! OUCH. That must have hurt.

Senggarang part one

2006-10-24T10:08:00.000+08:00

So much happened on this trip that I don't know where to begin!!

But kudos to the companions - Sam, Dom, Alicia, Colin, Fay, Charis. Yups. :)

Anyway, I will give it my best shot. Senggarang is a part of Bintan - the ulu part. The main town is called Tanjung Pinang (do I hear bells ringing?).

On a bright Saturday morning, we took a 2 hour ride from Tanah Merah Ferry terminal off to the ferry termainl at Tanjung Pinang. And that was when I realised that I have a HUGE tendency to get seasick!! Geez. And it does not help that I was sitting backwards to the direction of travel.

Tanjung Pinang reminded me so much of JB and the small little kampung that my grandma lived in! So, there wasn't much of cultural shock for me.

The makeshift clinic we had was in the church which was 25 km away from the main town. Heh, as this is a seaside town, it was so much easier to get around by boat! So here goes the sampan!

Yup, and this, being a seaside town, the houses are built on the water - somewhat like a kelong. Even our hotel was built on the water, and if you peered between the planks, you can see the glistening water beneath!! At the end of the day, Charis and I felt as though we were bobbing on our beds although everything was pretty still.

going.. going... going... gone

2006-10-20T13:39:00.000+08:00

off to senggarang with the churchies for the free clinic... be back on sunday..

in the mean time, you be good.

short talk

2006-10-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

Just gotten news that JD from D2xs family is going to be in Elva, the Taiwan Singer's MTVs. Yes, it's mtvS - 3 of them in fact. See? Talent brings you around the globe! JD will be collaborating with Pat Chen (founder of D2xs) and Marty (choreographer of JT). I can't wait to see this manz! :)

Updates in photos

2006-10-14T01:38:00.000+08:00

More updates in point form!

1. The entire CG went 'on call' to celebrate YL's bday. She was pleasantly surprised. :)

2. Suspected to have a fractured 2nd toe. The right foot's all bandaged up now. No more dancing for another 6 weeks. :( THEORETICALLY, that's how long it takes to recover.

3. Went shopping for baby stuff. Ain't these baby socks adorable??

4. Loved the bib too!

Annoyed with Blogger

2006-10-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

I'm getting increasingly annoyed with Blogger and its sudden INABILITY to publish long entries.

I'm changing provider soon.

Any recommendations anyone?

Till then.

there's love and there's LOVE

2006-10-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

I had a mini dispute with my mum.

I hate it whenever she tries to 'mother' me, e.g. "You're not strong enough hang the clothes out."

I know that it is an act of love. She does not want me to exert myself.

I've tried so hard to explain to her but she doesn't get it.

There's love and there's LOVE.

Love in the sense of wanting to do everything and be everything for that person. Stopping the person from 'over-exertion', being a literal doormat by dropping everything on the floor upon the person's request.

I do not think that parents should ALWAYS love their children this way.

I mean.. Hey sure, I love my mum. I appreciate her trying to help me especially when life gets insanely busy.

Having said that, there are numerous times when I wish she would take a step back and give me the space to grow.

You see, LOVE, at its best brilliance, lets one grow. It gives one the freedom and space to grow to become someone better, bigger. I'm not talking about abandoning the seedling. I'm talking about giving the seedling fertiliser, water, sunlight and nutrients (all in the form of support and encouragement) whilst letting the little one grow.

LOVE that allows one to explore all boundaries whilst knowing that there's always a safety net to catch them if they fall from any height.

I think LOVE requires thinking as well. For example, in my case, would saving my few muscles from exertion been more beneficial than practising clothes hanging which would definitely be useful in life?

Sometimes, loving a person doesn't merely mean making him/her feel comfortable or happy. It's more about thinking about what you can do to lead the individual onto a better path of life.

So Excited - Janet Jackson

2006-10-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

I lurrve Janet's So Excited video. It's a tad similar to All nite (don't stop) but oh well..

I think I like Janet's vids more than Beyonce's because I love to see a group of hot dancers doing the steps together. And Janet's choreography is not just sexy but also pretty groovy!

ENJOY!

What's up with school?? (part 2)

2006-10-11T13:33:00.000+08:00

***read part 1 first - entry below ***

Did you ever feel that you were trapped in this system? Trapped to make a choice? Trapped into thinking that all the choices were all the menu and that you can't walk out of this restaurant?

And now, as you are doing a 9-to-5 job, do you know what you are doing it for? Could you motivate yourself with an inexhaustible passion?

Ultimately, the question boils down to: Would you be happier like Edison, Einstein and Gates IF you were doing what you were passionate about?

I think I've my answer.

What's up with school?? (part 1)

2006-10-11T13:14:00.000+08:00

This entry is sparked by my current major disinterest and unhappiness with school. It is, however, by no means, that I'm comparing myself with the people that's being listed in the article below.

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It seems to me that smart people don't attend school.

By 'smart', I'm talking about the people who have created major turning points in the history of mankind - in the likes of Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, etc.

Just some fast facts:

Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft. So, hence and therefore, Bill Gates does not have a Bachelor degree.
Einstein does not have a secondary school degree. He believed that the spirit of learning and creativity was lost in endeavours such as strict memorisation in school.
Einstein was thought to 'retarded' as he did not start speaking till the age of three. Even then, he spoke hesitantly.
Edison only had 3 months of formal schooling

It seems as though Einstein is right.

Just what is it with the education system and the constant examination to make sure that everybody is on par?

It feels as though we have become products of a factory, manufacturing human beings with the same knowledge, same flow of thoughts; all stamped, chopped and guaranteed cos they have passed that quality check test.

Ideally, learning should be self-driven, fueled by curiosity and passion.

But, we live in a less than ideal world. The learning we do in school is fueled by desire to top the class, needing to graduate with a degree to earn all that cash.. It's not about that passion, it's not about that drive to use the knowledge to create something that one can only envision.

Remember the time when you were choosing which course to study in Uni?

Did you know what you wanted?

Were you hesitant?

*****continued in next post****

The pollution strikes again (not talking abt the haze though)

2006-10-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

This is another ahem.. 'interesting' conversation that our clinical group (CG) had.
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One of the guys in my CG got himself the latest very cool and hip Sony Walkman handphone... It looks something like this:

One of the spiffy, cool functions of the handphone includes the ability to play the MP3s like a radio.

So.. As the story goes.. One fine afternoon, boy A decided to put his cool Sony HP into his pockets. The CG then headed off to a boring lecture. As part of his daily ritual, boy A fell asleep during the lecture. By the time he woke, the lecture was over. Feeling real groggy, boy A clumsily got out of his seat.

Suddenly, boy B approached him, looking curiously at his crotch .

Boy B to Boy A: "Is that sound coming from your... eh.. there??"

Boy C (who was passing by): "Oh my God! He's got a singing bird."

p/s Boy A had mistakenly pressed on the play button without realising it.

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Although the hols have come! There seems to be an inextinguishable list of things to do! Oh wells. One at a time.

updates

2006-10-08T16:33:00.000+08:00

I've nothing entertaining to say (except for a couple of dirty jokes courtesy of my highly polluted CG). So, updates in point form (before boring everyone to sleep)

Adored Russ (jazz teacher) - "I want the class to grow together. Not compete with each other, and I will push each one of you according to the potential that I think each of you possess." Inspiring.
Surgical exams tomorrow! Wish me luck.
Technically the much-coveted 1 week break starts the week after. But un-technically, the break starts after the surgical exams.
Going to Bintan during THE break to do a free clinic for the people there. Meaning - more pinprick tests, blood pressure measurements and dispensing of medicine! *woohoo* Can't wait.
The new clinical groups are out! An entire year of being stuck with Uncle Jojo and his dirty jokes! GOSH! :p
Sprained the 2nd toe - I'm off dance for a while
Danceabled session #2 was good. Everyone could count. It was a strange sense of euphoria to see people doing what you teach so well. haha. Teaching is making me a better dancer. The students are so keen that they want it once a week! Time to rack the brain for more choreo! ;)
Watching someone's face turn from desperate puzzlement of the dance steps to pure joy of understanding and executing out the steps was sooo satisfying. Now, where do I start?

That's about it. Till then.

Time has come today

2006-10-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

Some pictures of Izzy in episode 1 of season 3 grey's anatomy. Some days, I feel exactly like her - stick onto the bathroom floor and let the world spin by. As long as the stench doesn't kill me or that my ma doesn't drag me outta there. Oh, and the floor ain't too wet. Ok, too many "ifs".

Weird blogger

2006-09-30T12:20:00.000+08:00

My blogger's acting a little funny so I'm spliting my entires into 2 parts. They just can't publish in one big post. so yeaps. I'm sorry!! Read All that Jazz Part 1 before reading part 2!

Updated the song at the start. So listen to it!! :)

Album and TV part 3

2006-09-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

7. HOUSE SEASON 3

Yes, I know this ain't an album! But, my my, I am glad that House Season 3 is back. Cos you see, life without SYTYCD 3, House and Grey's have been pretty miserable (though it was offset by the fact that i couldn't access the net anyway).

And this time round, will the cane still be his little prop?

On a sidenote, I love House's new stalker. She's gorgeous! :p

8. Grey's anatomy Season 3
I loved Grey's anatomy's first episode. It sent me sobbing again. (RAWR). I felt so bad for Bailey, and honestly, watching such a strong character being disturbed just disturbs me. Sigh. Somehow, Bailey always makes me cry!

I still remembered when she refused to give birth, I literally broke down in tears. Heh. I've this thing for characters who seem strong externally but are really just as vulnerable as anybody else.

Alrightios, this is the end of your little doggie (no no. not bitch) reporting to ya about the latest going-ons in the music and TV scene!

Albums and TV part 2

2006-09-30T11:35:00.000+08:00

3. FutureSex/ LoveSounds

I'm so glad that sexy Justin is back!!

Needless to say, I adored the sexyback track.

1.5 years of world tours and 3 years to come up with this new album, Justin sure has some creative tunes in this one!

I mean, hey, the funny album title is enough to tell you that this album is not gonna sound like what everybody else has done before!

I've only listened to it once .. and I loved LoveStoned! Clever Justin has roped in Timbaland (he's a genius, i tell ya) and Will.I.Am so be in for some groovy beats! :)

4. 20 Y.O. - Janet Jackson

Janet's album is like another Janet's album. I enjoyed it.

5. Idlewild - Outkast
It's so sad to hear that the fellows from Outkast are gonna split!! So enjoy this latest album!! I
haven't really listened to it. It's on my Zen, but reviews so far have been fantastic!

6. LeToya - LeToya
Remember Destiny's child?

Now, list the members.

Yes, there's Beyonce Knowles, Kelly Rowland. And, now LeToya's finally released her solo effort.

Heh, as you can see, there's too many albums to listen to, so I haven't gotten down to listening to this one. However, from the reviews I've read at Cdnow.com (now Amazon.com), there's nothing but fantastic about this album. So there, there, move aside Beyonce! Cos LeToya's in the house!

All that Jazz part 2

2006-09-30T11:32:00.001+08:00

Just like today... I was at the jazz beginner class (It's a real good class at ecnad and we get our $$'s worth cos Russ ended up teaching jazz level 1 class in an extended 2.5 hours class!). Neways, there were 4 new folks who had completely no dance background. And, I could swear that they all LOOKED damn stressed out, esp. at the street jazz part when it was just HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT. So stressed that it was just like "I can't relax. I can't express any emo cos I suck when I can't remember steps!".

Oh well. Everyone's been there manz. I just hope that they don't give up!! Cos all beginners start out like that. I still remembered that my first audition at Flare. I was 2x faster than everyone else! And I was still unaware of what was happening! It was a tragedy without a doubt! ;p

And Alvin's class. I think he just gave up on me. Cos I can never remember steps (and still can't remember steps. Being a monkey do, monkey follow person, I couldn't live without the instructor in front of me) So yup, if you have interest in dance, don't give up! Keep going for the classes and keep practising!

Going back to Russ's class tonight. I just loved the part when he did the same set of steps to different music and got us to do it ourselves. It was something I had been planning to do for my own class. Different music brings out different emotions, and it really all depends on how you express it to the audience. These little things that I have been writing repeatedly about. If you dance, then spend some thought on this!

And Russ was right. Dancers are supposed to be sensitive people. Sensitive to the music. How it makes you feel. The right proprioception - where are your arms, legs, face, expression. How's your lines going. And my own interpretation: dancers are actors, models, athletes all in one. Every hit is a pose, every hit is an expression on your face, and the next hit may be a leap across the stage.

All that Jazz Part 1

2006-09-30T11:32:00.000+08:00

WHEEE!! I'm on half a high! Ok, may be totally high! It's shocking how high dance can lift me!

Through the whole week, all I'm hoping for is for Thursday to come!! Then it's dance time! WOOHOO. And when Thursday hits, I can't wait for the day to finish and for the night to start. It's like this crazy primitive need. Sigh.

Neways, I realise that I may have been in love with the wrong ~~guy~~ dance style after all! I really love jazz, and street jazz even more! It's pretty confusing cos in Melbourne what's being called hip hop can really be classified as street jazz (since so many of the dancers there have dance background in jazz since they were kids - like 2 years old?!)

Jazz is so much more diverse compared to hip hop. It's like this whole new playground. I love RUSS's teaching (it's NOT true that I like ALL of my dance instructors. Just MOST of them). So much into the EMO side of things. I love the fact that he's building on the basis of all dances - the style, the emotional side of things, the way that we express things.
It's always been a difficult thing to teach. In fact, if you analyse it, you realise that dancers who had danced for years would say that the style and the expression is the MOST important part of dance. BUT, you would always have the contradictory side of things because beginners would be trying to grasp steps, whilst instructors will be trying to get them to relax and milk the emo outta them. It's just such a difficult balance.

rarara. stupid blogger!

2006-09-29T22:09:00.000+08:00

I hate it when blogger just fouls up and i can't publish my post.

Neways, watch this vid! It's by Sarah from Dance2xs! And i love this lady. She was the first person I met at Dance2xs Australia, and she was sooo warm and friendly!! Her credentials are solid as well - she's been invited to judge the Dancefloor - a Singapore version of so you think you can dance, but due to several reasons, she's not coming! So yeaps! Watch it!! It's hot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iow_c6zl0Tw

Puns

2006-09-25T10:16:00.000+08:00

I've a knack for making real lousy puns these days. One of which requires knowledge of chinese (which goes on to signify that my Chinese knowledge ain't that lousy after all.) BAH.

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Pun # 1: In a certain restaurant

Me: (after impatiently waiting for a slice of cake to arrive) "Thai Express is faster at serving and preparing their food!"

Ho: "Yah, cos it's 'express' what!"

Me: "Yea, may be this restaurant is still busy looking for the recipe!"

*Ho rolls eyes*

Jean: "Yah, cos the recipe is a secret! (Go figure what's the restaurant's name. You can do with some brain cell stimulation.)

Pun #2: At the traffic light

Jean: "Why is this traffic light taking forever to turn red?"

Me: "It needs some publicity."

Jean: "Huh? Why?"

Me: "So that it can become 红 (= red in chinese, also a synonym for fame)!"

Jean: "Eh. That was.. eh. really cold."

Lousy

2006-09-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

I feel lousy.

Because I feel lousy. This week seems lousy. School seems lousy. Dance seems lousy. Food seems lousy. Everything seems lousy.

Nothing is good enough. Everything can be better.

And the mind perpetually questions, "why can't this be that? Why can't that be this?"

I go on that ferris wheel again, running after my tail till I'm fatigued.

That's when you stop and you refuse to move. You give up because you don't think anything you do make a difference anymore.

I feel like izzy from grey's anatomy. I feel like lying on the my bathroom floor for sometime. May be one whole day. I don't feel ready to become the person that everyone else expects me to be. Or that I expect me to be.

Rawr. Other than that. May be this is just another hormones-filled day that makes me feel like an adolescent rushing out to break every rule that exists in the world.

sigh. I don't feel good enough to entertain. So, it's gonna be another day for entertaining entries.

Bye for now.

10 sure signs that you're aging

2006-09-18T00:50:00.000+08:00

Your skin is getting wrinkly
You think that the person waving enthusiastically in your direction is waving to to the person behind you until the person behind you says, "Your friend, is it?" And you just simply cannot remember who in the world she is.
Your bones and muscles ache after slight exertion
You get breathless chasing after a bus
Teenagers stare at you like you're soooo weird when you suddenly join in their activities.
You can't remember whether you've showered at 11pm.
You can't remember whether you've shampooed your hair 1 sec ago and have to repeat the entire shampooing thing again
You don't care whether you're attached or single whilst people 2 yrs younger than you are still harping on BGRs.
Your friends are sending you wedding invitations.
You are displeased with half of your wardrobe (cos they look so... well.. YOUNG?)

Note: These are happening to me.

Note #2: Here's #11 after reading about some people's responses to concerts:

You don't cheer at dance competitions/ performances/ concerts anymore. Simply because you hate it when people cheer so loud that they blast your eardrums. And, this ain't no cheering competition. If the people on stage are pros, then they gotta understand that cheering or no cheering makes no difference. This is your responsibility to do it well. I particularly hate YouTube video clips of people screaming into the mic whilst cheering for their friends on stage. Argh. 'Nuff said.

Step Up

2006-09-17T17:00:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that this movie is only gonna be released in November 2006 in Singapore.

This is a movie about dance - ballet + hip hop.

It features Jenna Dewan, who was formerly a dancer of Janet Jackson, etc, MTV girl in Ricky Martin's clip, and most recently, she danced in Take The Lead as the female student who clinched the top prize.

And it also features the very good looking Channing Tatum who breakdances. Lala. Very candy-eye. Oh. Lastly, it's directed by Anne Fletcher of Bring it On fame.

Jenna's dance moves in there were great. Her technique's wow.

So for those who love dance, do catch it!!

For now, catch the trailer at http://creative.myspace.com/groups/_jc/stepup/video/trailer.html. And check out their website on myspace (I'm such a myspace whore!) http://www.myspace.com/stepupmovie (there's other clips there!)

Yup, gotta get going. tas!

The start of danceabled!

2006-09-16T17:43:00.000+08:00

These two days have been pretty disruptive! Lotsa things happened. The good and the bad. Hmm. But I shall blog about the start of Danceabled, a dance volunteer initiative by YMCA. (I'm sorry but this blog shall hold heaps of volunteer entries cos I just wanna maintain what SALP instilled in us - to blog about our experiences and to reflect on how we have changed with regards to leadership.)

*****************************
Neways, big shout-out to Jeannie for coming down!! It was so cool to dance beside you! You're a big inspiration - if I never told you that. And you're also one of my favourite dancers! So, yah, really hope that your injury will stop bugging you!

I'm redoing my choreography for the group after realising that I may have to teach the same sets to disabled children. So they gotta be simple simple, but palatable.

And, after spending some time, I think I'm hooked on this Jay Chou's track 'cos there's funny sounds like clock ticking and ball bouncing and I thought that children could relate to that. At least it's easier to relate to yea??

Gosh, so after cracking my brain for like almost half a day, I have 12X8 done. And.. I think.. another 10x8 which are gonna be very repetitive to go. So yay!

Need someone to vet it and tell me that it's suitable for beginner's class though!

Cos Jeannie took a look at my original one and had to take a deep breath to tell me that it's too hard. :p

Alrightios, I think I better get outta this dance-siaoness and go back to mugging. I'm so far behind.

Oh yah, and one more thing, it was awesome to see the students, working adults at the event yesterday! I'm so not used to teaching though. It's been a LONG time. OOOH, and I got to meet someone who was a funkamania judge! She was waaaayyy cool! :)

Ciao, folks!

Translation

2006-09-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

It was a fine day, we were all having lunch together when someone brought up his particular criteria for his partner.

She apparently has to fulfill 3 roles:

Lover
Friend
Family member

Immediately, this was faced with an outburst by a girl in the group:

"So you mean she has to be:

A sex worker
Mind-reader
Maid?"

Albums and TV part 1

2006-09-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

September is a glorious month for the release of albums from several famous artises. I have not listened to all of the following artises' albums, but I'm just gonna slap the pictures of a few album covers here first 'cos the mere mention of these names probably make lotsa people excited!

1. Still fantasy - Jay Chou

When I first listened to Jay's album, I thought it sounded a lot like his old album (WHAT'S NEW?) However, after repetitive listening, I realised that I liked the first track quite a bit. (I'm sorry, I'm going to relate the music with dance.. 'cos that's how I function)

It felt waltz-like - very soothing, as though one's bobbing on a calm lake.

As for Jay's collaboration with Fei Yu Qing, I was shocked! When I first heard the track, I thought Fei Yu Qing was Jay trying his best at good articulation! It was hilarious cos I was half-mystified and half-impressed. :p

Other than the mentioned tracks, I have no other comments regarding the album.

2. B'day - Beyonce Knowles

I am not that big a fan of Beyonce.

However, I'm just placing her here cos I know someone is! So, go buy her album now!

What I did feel was that... Beyonce was trying hard to make something sound different. Although it sounded different, I'm not sure I like the new sounds.

In a way, it felt as though she tried too hard.

'Nuff said.

Lumps and bumps

2006-09-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

It's been annoying. I've typed a really long entry about albums and TV a few days ago BUT I just can't post it. :(

Neways, do check out all the following albums (no further elaboration on them cos I'm tired of typing stuff):

Jay's Still fantasy (loved the first track)
JT's lovesounds/futuresex (or was that the other way round?? BAH!)
Beyonce's b'day
LeToya's LeToya
Janet's 20 y.o.
Outkast's Idlewild

And MOST importantly, House M.D. season 3 is back!! YAY. what joy. :)

In any case, here's more funny tidbits from my life (very medical, I apologise..)

**************************************
Scene: Clinic

Characters: Student, Dr. G and pregnant clinic assistant and other pesty medical students

Student: "Dr. G, I was told by Dr. P that you have more cases of lumps and bumps in your clinic. Is it OK if i pop on by from next door?"

Dr. G: "Lumps and bumps? Yah, sure. There's one right here!" *points to pregnant clinic assistant*

*Clinic assistant GLARES at Dr. G*

Caption of picture on left: They say that pregnant women who listen to music while will have a smarter baby. This one might need all the help it can get. - fugly.com *OUCH*

Oh, the heat!

2006-09-11T17:51:00.000+08:00

Sha, KR and I were heading for home when S offered us a lift in his cool Lexus.

As fate had it, S's car was parked under the hot sun which basically transformed a Lexus into an oven.

As Sha, opened the door, he was greeted by a giant heat wave that had him staggering backwards.

Sha: "Ok, you go first!"

Me: "Why? Because I'm cool?"

Sha: "No, because you're not that hot!"

Me: "SHA!!!! :@#$!"

Clorets

2006-09-11T17:44:00.000+08:00

Decided that I should post more on little jokes that we crack everyday.. cos these are the things that just brighten up my life...
*******************************************************

One morning, K bought one of the blue clorets to work the other day and was offering them to us:

K: "Want some blue pills?"

Me: "Yea, need to get it up."

The forbidden WORD - H*IR

2006-09-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

It's been nearly 9 months since my super-serious hip injury. Although I've been dancing on and off during this period of time, my injury has always been haunting me. And yes, there have been times when it was so bad that I had pain whilst walking despite resting for days. There were times when I wanted to follow my therapist's advice and give up on dance forever.

I don't really know if I'm ready to go back to dance again.

BUT, it definitely felt good to go for Ryan's class on Tuesday. It was exactly like "You don't know what you've got till it's gone." And, dancing again was just so amazing! Surprisingly, with every huge break I take from dance, that passion never dulls. So yea, I'm going back to dancing again... and I'm HOPING, really hard, that there will be no more injuries - especially to my ligaments and my joints cos those take the longest to heal.

Although I'm having an aching neck, and ass (please don't find the excuse to PALPATE my ass. It does not work that way), I'm just praying that all those serious injuries will stay OUTTA my way. Muscle pain I can take, not those nerves, joints, discs and ligaments. THEY KILL ME!

Yupz, and it was great to be the newcomer in the class cos you get looked after pretty well - personal attention from Ryan! YAY! haha, and I was relieved of my duty to do DOUBLE pirouettes as well! YAY! Haha, and it was crazily fun cos the class was sooooo fast - 4 x 8 in like eh... 25 minutes or was it 15 minutes? BAH!

AND, just btw, do not talk to me about my hair. Dancing without my best accessory is a killer. RAWR. So don't blame me if I black-face you if you touch on the FORBIDDEN topic cos I hate my haircut and I don't know why all the hairdressers think that I look best in a sweet little girl DOLL like look with STRAIGHT fringe across my forehead. OH WELLS.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Schedule

2006-09-07T18:32:00.000+08:00

This entry is basically to update all the pple whom I've not met for ages on what's happening in my life now, especially now that I'm offline most of the time!

But life will get tremendously busy starting next week. (Just btw, I'm making full use of my current time now that I suddenly don't have to do night call today! WHEE!)

In a nutshell, this is what's gonna happen next week:

Night duty :(
The incipient of Danceabled!
Resumption of dance classes with RYAN! *yay*
Jazz/contemp/ballet at ecnad (still deciding and basically very undecided)
Pharmaco presentation next week (craps, craps, craps)
More presentations during tutes and lectures
Start of writing that thesis that I've been putting off forever?! *sigh*

So yah!! It's gonna be full-blast. I'm half excited and half frightened.

Wish me luck!

Balling with laughter

2006-08-31T16:14:00.000+08:00

Posting's been increasingly slacked these days compared to those good old zooming days of medicine posting. Everything's quietening down quite a bit - I think it's sorta like getting to the good part of the big ocean. Slow, calm and bobbing a little up and down, but nonetheless, sleep-inducing.

If you didn't know, I adore conversations. And these days, conversations have been just getting more XXXXxxxXXxxx. Gosh. I'm starting to wonder what it will all sound like at the end of the posting.

The setting: OT, with guy who underwent circumcision being stitched up by an MO.

The cast: N, S, and me with two MOs .

Props: Sutures, and that very fresh and bloodied and important dick without its prepuce

S: "The circumcision is not a very common op, is it?"

Me: "Eh, really? Ain't most guys erm... circumcised?" *Looks expectantly at the guys*

S: "Eh... I don't know about others. N, are you?"

N: "Yea. I am.."

S: "oh. I'm not. So, Liz would you prefer a guy with or without circumcision?"

Me: "EHHH?#$! I don't know I don't have a dick!"

S: "No, no, there's no point in knowing what a guy thinks about his own body! Want to know what a girl thinks!"

Me: "S!! I'VE INSUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE TO KNOW WHAT I PREFER!"

N: "Would you wanna do it under LA or GA?"

S: "GA lah!"

Me: "Eh, if i were a guy i think i wouldn't want to KNOW that someone's messing with me down there" *tries semi-enthusiastically to picture myself with penis which was such a wrong image*

N: "But there's no need to intubate yourself for this procedure what. I did mine under LA and had a good chat with my surgeon."

*S and I gazed skywards*

N: "By the way, do you think he has hydrocele? His scrotum looks inproportionately bigger than his dick.."

Me: *tries badly with my inexperience to assess*

S and N the two experts of the male anatomy continue the critique.

Oh well, so now, everyone knows what to expect when you are konked out.

Offline

2006-08-29T12:52:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

Due to certain reasons, I will not be able to access my Internet online for the next couple of weeks/months.

Yup, so this site will probably be stagnant for a while. Please do NOT leave any messages in Tagboard for me as this is deemed as "chat" by the computer and blocked.

Feel free though to leave a comment/email/txt me.

God bless all.

lz

OMG! This is freaking funny!

2006-08-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

I ripped this off Angela's blog! :)

Cheers! :D

BTW, WQ, YOU WILL BE FRIGHTENED, SO DON'T WATCH!!!
*******************************
The House Cat:

The Hip Hop cat

The Metal Cats

The Stoner Rock Cat

The Techno Cat

The iCat

Smart? Not.

2006-08-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

I was never a smart kid.

Looking back, I realise that if I'm not in Sg, I probably wouldn't be pursuing this career.

Being in an environment that emphasized so much on education, there was probably no other paths to even consider. It was drilled into me - academics were important, I had to do well. Serioulsy, winning the competition became the ultimate aim of all.

And, all the way till JC, this mindset remained with me. Although I must admit that I increasingly doubt the significance behind all of the mugging and studying.

As I have said, I'm not smart. I am where I am because I've spent so much time on studying. Time that could possibly have been used to do something that I am better at. That I have more aptitude at.

We spend HOURS memorising facts and rejoice when the consultant asks *that* particular question and you happily rattle off whatever you have memorise. And you know what?? That can totally make a medical student's day.

Since when has our happiness lay in somebody else's hands?

It's not amazing how Singapore has no nobel prize winners. And, why we top so many quizzes. 'Cos you see - simply put, there's something essentially wrong with our education system.

Students get stressed out when they can't memorise the little, gritty details which we get grilled on pretty often. But, we don't look at the big picture, we don't go beyond memorising those little facts, we don't think. We don't apply what we've learnt and think about how else it can be used. 'Cos the most important thing is to WIN this competition, to pass that silly MCQ paper.

Surely, there's something bigger worth studying for.

Give me one year of research, and I think I've forgotten how to study. I simply refuse to mug these days. I refuse to do whatever that I used to do. I don't give a damn about being at the top of the game anymore.

I don't want to spend hours of my time scribbling on my paper to get a concept. It's either I'm cut out for this or I'm not. Yes, the consequence of failing is terrible. But, enough's enough. It's time for a change.

And, I was just wondering. What is it like in the US? Do people mug too? Or are these people just so naturally brilliant? Because from what I know, many Australians don't mug. They read and they remember and they do brilliantly well. Just what is it about Singaporeans and their mugging system?

Oh wells. *shrugs*

Big dreams, small girl

2006-08-20T13:11:00.000+08:00

Martin Luther had a dream. So do you. And so do I. I guess in many aspects, I'm still very much like a child with my ideals and castles in the air. But before that.. I'm writing this for lotsa the muddy medpies.
************************

We are not living a lie. Two of my friends had the same nickname over the weekend (and they didn't know each other). But we, med students, are not living a lie.

Yes, our seniors' words fell on deaf ears. We rejected their kind words of advice not to do medicine, and now may be we are all regretting, walking in the same path, and repeating the same pearly words of advice to our juniors. We carried with us our dreams of making this world a better place with the noble aim of saving lives into the medical faculty. And it is this imagery that you strongly believe that YOU will be able to make a difference. That YOU will not end up like your seniors.

As fate would have it, this path is not easy. Stones, sharps and grime pave the path we walk upon. You feel the sharp piercing into your flesh as you give up your favourite past-time(s). You feel the stones pressing sharply against your soles with such intense pressure that you've never felt before. And the grime that coats your soles with each step, falls off just as easily with the next step, like the medical facts that you are supposed to remember.

Just halfway through the path, you can no longer see the light ahead. You are tired. You could no longer lift your head, choosing to look at the stones, sharps and grime on your path. There was no joy in this walk anymore. However, it is too late to return. You have to trudge on.

Whatever happened to the dream of being like Patch Adam? Whatever happened to the light you used to see?

It may not be the lifestyle that you've always wanted. It may be painful but time will take away the pain. And, as the skin on your sole thickens, you learn to be stronger. You learn to be brave. you learn not to fear.

Can you see? It is not just a training to be a medical personnel. It is a training of the mind, soul, faith and belief.

Did you think that it was easy being Patch Adam? To stand strong to your own personal belief, speak out against other professionals who criticise? To garner enough support to endorse whatever you are doing?

You need will power, confidence, empathy, understanding and so many things that books cannot teach you. Things that can only be taught through experience and time.

Believe me, the light may be dim, but the sun is rising. Your dawn will come.

*******************************
In my dream land, there is no stranger nor enemy. We are one big family. The Palestinian, the israeli on the same tram having a wonderful conversation.

In my dream land, respect forms the basis of all relationships. There is no shouting, no arguing. No angry exchanges. But peace and respect for what everyone does - no matter if she's your maid or your subordinate.

In my dream land, there is joy. Not always frivolous merriment, but peaceful joy and gladness that keeps us contented.

In my dream land, we have one full glass of love, and an empty glass of hatred. Love, so perfect, that vices are no longer vices but accepted as characteristics. Love without anticipation or need for a reciprocation. Love that protects, heals and brings peaceful joy. Love beyond the physical existence for the spiritual connection unites us as one. Love overcoming the distance and barriers that go on to last till the end of time.

In my dream land, we all dress in white and dance. Light as angel. Each hop, each jump, each step's an expression of joy, peace and love.

In my dream land, there is no hierarchy of any form. Comments are constructive and we work together for a beautiful result.

In my dream land, there are no deadlines. We run to the best of our abilities and capabilities. Each one of us believing in the other that this is the best of our personal efforts.

In my dream land, joy is packaged into barrels of good wine, and given to the sick, elderly and dying.

In my reality, dreams are worth dying for. Are yours?

New template

2006-08-20T11:58:00.000+08:00

WHEE! I'm a happy girl with my new template. I need some change in my life. SO yay!

YO ALL!!

2006-08-20T10:36:00.000+08:00

hey peeps,

if u've myspace, you can add me at http:/www.myspace.com/lzthecow

Been having lotsa fun trawling through myspace.com and i love their music and comedy section! Not to mention the fact that you can personalise ur pages!

GOSH. this is big time advertisement! So yea, see u guys there!

Kinky!

2006-08-12T21:48:00.000+08:00

This is one funny advertisement. It's time to de-stress! cheers!

Another one.. Eh. haha. it's kinky.. watch on.

And this one is just pure funny! bwhahhaa

Forlove

2006-08-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

I was surfing yesterday when I chanced across Ryan's myspace and later on his blog. And I was surprised that he could write so well! Oh well, what can I say about such a great breaker (he was on So You Think You Can Dance season 1) and now hmm. blogger? This was something rather personal that he wrote, and I think it beats HEAPS of current love movies (may be it's just because i'm more a sucker for words.. )

I'm cutting and pasting his entry here, but do realise that you can also find it here.

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Written

I've written this because I no longer know where you are .
And I know you won't want to listen to me if I ever found you .

So this will be here for you .. so fate can have something to lead you toward .

This is for the significant wonder :

It's been years . And my recollection of you fades with time .
Not that it's my intention to erase my own memory ..
I won't forget events in my timeline, or any important words you spoke to me .

But I want to preserve a part of you in my mind . It's long overdue that I strike what I've built .. and lock the image . Of you .

Do you know who you are ?

You may have forgotten . Because you're different today .
But you used to be somebody .. unbelievable .

You were a dream come true . Everyday .
And a hope never lost . Anchored heavily and true .
You were real .
I knew of your depth .. yet I dared not tread beyond shallow water .

Your welcome was a warmth ..
That would easily subdue the air around me .
And continue to envelop my spirit .

You had me absolutely yours .
Did you ever know ?

Your words so pure, my heart would have stopped at your slightest verbal command
Should you ever speak it done .
And you would be the only divine being on the surface of this earth
Who could accelerate my heart to race again ..
With nothing more than a simple glance .

Your beauty was a challenge to appreciate .. in truth it was a universe in itself .
As it filled infinite dimensions .. composing an endless symphony .
And its potential was far too immense to be held in the very world you lived in .

But I appointed myself to that solitary journey ..
And embarked on a chain of blissful discovery
Of everything .
Everything inside of you .

And granted, if my heart took the greatest capacity of courage ..

Then maybe I'd know for sure
If this is where I was truly meant to be .

Underneath the most stars I'd ever seen in my life .
On a porch stairway foreign to me ..

Sitting one step below, and an arm's length away ..
From the most beautiful girl .. ever to grace my life story .

We were there together .. and I was a nervous wreck .
I couldn't speak . And I wouldn't dare look your way .
I was afraid my words would slip ..

And I would tell you .. you're beautiful .
Then instantly end up despising myself for using such incompetent words .

You had no idea ..
It was the first time I'd ever experienced for myself ..
The supreme elegance which moonlight has the power to reveal .
In you .

I was no match for the velocity bound inside of me .
It was inevitable that I would lose to it soon ..
And something . Just .. something .. would escape me ..
And reach you .
And you would finally know .

That I loved you
....
And it .. escaped .
...

My voice was a disaster when I said it .
I was instantly overcome with embarrassment and a concave silence ..
Awkwardness left me ready and waiting to stutter my next word ..
Possibly an apology for my crude mannerism ..
Or a chuckled diversion to typically break the tension ..
I was at a most desperate and pitiful loss for action or dialogue .

Until I looked up .
And saw your face .

You changed everything .

It was the first time in the history of my existence
That I stared into the eyes of my destiny .
It was in that instance where time itself .. had stopped .
To let us live in that moment . Just a little while longer .

Your stare was strong .. piercing me and tearing me apart .
You spoke to me very clearly .. only with those eyes .

They reflected everything the sky had to offer .

Even if my sense of hearing was immediately taken from me
Right then and there ..
It still could never stop me from understanding
The response within your gaze .

You loved me .And my heart soared .. clear into the highest of heavens .

You began to cry as you said it .
And I shared that feeling with you ..
We repeated ourselves over and over again ..
Releasing an abundance of jailed emotion and destined words .
I held you so close ..
As if to cover and shield you from the world ..
Bravely protecting you from all harm that exists .

And that is what I did .
From that night on .
Thus began the birth of our relationship together .

I loved every minute of it .

At times it was a struggle to find myself with you .

But I hadn't the slightest need to wonder why .
An easy journey would lead me worthlessly elsewhere ..
It made perfect sense to me .. that a girl of your value
Could only be reachable beyond life's most difficult obstacles .

I worked my hardest . Just to have that time by your side .
All of what I owned could easily have been traded ..
To acquire what I needed for you .
Because you were appreciative .
Of everything I did . And everything I was .

Do you remember .. I drove alone for seven hours ..
No phone and no more than a few dozen dollars in my pocket ..
Just to see you ..
For an hour and a half .

And it was seven more hours driving back home ..
Lost in total happiness .. and weary swoon
That I was able to feel your arms around me ..
And your face burrowing softly against my chest .

There was never a time where I was simply able to set my eyes on you ..
Without being overcome with a heavy rain of joy ..
From the thought that this lovely woman
Of unimaginative elegance standing here before me ..
Is truly mine to cherish

....

We created a world together .. didn't we .
It seemed like the longest period in my life ..
You and I were inseperable .
Truly .. I loved you so .

We achieved sweet perfection .

Until the scale had to be balanced .
I don't know why we came to that point ..
In which everything good began to slowly burn ..
I'd always put myself up to be blamed .. for blaming you .
But we both knew it wasn't that simple ..

Eventually .. I let go .. freeing my hold each day .
Releasing you of that shield which protected your entire being ..
And allowing the horrors you feared to swiftly reach you .

You lowered yourself so much .
Putting every ounce of pride away .
Just to ask me to reconsider my departure .

But I couldn't .

I was callous and cold .
Steadfast and loyal to my decision .
And I hated myself for a long time because of it .

You experienced the worst disasters of your life .
One . After the other .
And I was not there to help ..
Because of my own horrible choice .

You spiraled into a maze of despair, deception, and death .
And your health unfortunately coincided with these dreadful events .
The world around you blamed you for everything .

And you could have easily turned the blame to me .
But you didn't ..
You accepted it all didn't you .

I know you did .
I just couldn't believe that you still loved me that much .
Literally .. you were the only person who'd ever told me
You'd give your life for me ..
And proved it .

But you disappeared .
Before I could find you to apologize ..
You were gone .

I searched non-stop for what seemed like forever .
Only to find that we were no longer even on the same continent .
You had been sent away .
My hope .
Had fled my being . Only to be replaced by new fears .

I had never known the feeling ..
Of not being able to know for sure
If the only person you care about in life .. is still living .

I plunged into the deepest despondency I'd ever experienced .
Possibly the only true depression I'd ever been bound within .
It lasted for what seemed like a seperate lifetime ..
Trudging through nights where I lay in utter silence
Only to wake up to days where I quietly float through the hours .

I hated myself . And I hated everything .
It was the last and only time I'd ever felt this way .

As the months crept by ever so slowly ..
I met someone who understood .
Somebody who only wanted to help . And she did . Somewhat successfully .

And I moved on .

Meanwhile .. you were there . Away and across the globe .
Never had a way of contacting me whatsoever .. but you never lost any hope .
Still just as in love .. and working diligently to somehow find your way back to me .
The possibility that I'm still looking for you ..
Was the strongest motivation that kept you going .

But word somehow found its way to you .
And you heard I moved on .
And it killed you .

After another year .. you were finally able to come back .
And you contacted me .

Do you remember how thrilled I was ?
I was so relieved to know you were still alive and well .
Physically .

But your heart had been broken . And your spirits darkened .
And you were hurting so much .
I felt the sadness I'd caused you ..
And even felt the happiness you still wanted for me .
You never did give up on putting me first .

And I hated how you were so perfect .
Unreasonable to the core . Yet unselfish by nature .
I wanted to be like you in that sense .
And I wanted to find a way to somehow see you happy again .

You eventually moved on .
Found somebody in an unexpected atmosphere ..
And he did hold you dear .

......

We never spoke more often than once every 4 months or so ..
And I was always eager to hear your good news .
I loved to hear how much you cared about him .
And about how your family was doing so much better .It brought me so much happiness to listen to you share these things with me .

We carried on this way for quite some time, didn't we .
Rarely ever talking to each other .. and always by total chance .
You seemed to be slightly different ..
But I always felt like .. the old you was in there somewhere .

Until your relationship had failed .
I'm so sorry .
Please believe that it brought me no happiness to learn of your misfortune .
You were mistreated terribly .. and for awhile you allowed yourself to be blamed .

Just like always .
Taking the nobility route .

But you eventually took note of his error ..
And you were able to realize your innocence in the matter
....

That's when you changed
....

You no longer wished to speak to me .
When I tried my best to talk to you ..
I was only responded to with hostility ..
And annoyance . And cruelty .

It was all so sudden .
I surely could not understand why you had become so cold-hearted towards me .
Out of everything I'd been through with you ..
This was brand new .

I contacted you to ask how you were doing ..
And it only upset you .
You spoke to me rashly and casually .. cursing and being coarse
Like never before .. as if I was a nobody to you ..
Or a nobody to everybody .

I felt as if you had totally shifted .
And I was afraid to know the truth .
You were like a completely different or rather, opposite person .
Or maybe you just forgot .. who I used to be to you .

This was the last time I'd spoken to you
...... .....
And also .. a leading motivator in composing this letter of sorts .

Believe me .. I will not act as though I truly understand you now .
But I will also keep myself from being anymore of a bother to you .
And I know I made you aware of that upon our last conversation .

I just wanted to let you know ..
I am finally ready to close this chapter in the book of my life .
After everything we had been through .. which was indeed valuable ..

I guess this is where our story ends .

I just wanted you to have a final understanding
toward my definition of our time together .
I will not immortalize you in my mind as a terrible person .
You will be one of the very few people I will forever remember .

Please accept these parting words .

You will always be inside my definition of 'beautiful' .
Even though you may dislike me or no longer care for me ..
There will always be a special place for you in my heart and memory .
A place that has been crafted by you .. during the period in which we existed as one .
You are loved . By an entire world of people .
Don't ever doubt your worth . You are absolutely priceless .
Any man who does not see that .. is not even worthy of your eye contact .
Your way to success clearly exists .
Please do not give up on yourself .
Extraordinary things require hard work to reach . And I learned that through you .
Be honest with yourself . You deserve the best of all things .
Don't ever be ashamed of your wonderful smile .
And please don't second-guess your beauty .
Never allow yourself to be abused .. you must be treated as the queen you are .
Aim beyond what you expect for yourself . You're far greater than that .

I won't be finding myself in your life any longer so I sure hope I've said all that's necessary . I'm sure I've covered all that I wanted to assess .

I know this isn't the best way to convey such strong emotion .. but if you're meant to know these things, then I know you'll find your way here naturally .

And since you probably won't want to talk to me .. I've left all of this here for you to read at your own pace .. if you choose to read it at all .

Have a great life .. wherever you are . And good luck with whatever you're doing .
I hope you're well ..

If there's one mental picture to keep ..
Let it be the moment we shared
On the porch steps of your house .

Underneath the most stars I'd ever seen in my entire life .

Thank you for showing them to me .
And thank you for teaching me to be a better person .

. ryan

Thus concludes .. the story of us .

FREAKINZOIDS!!

2006-08-10T18:54:00.001+08:00

This is soo hottt... The group dance from So You Think You Can Dance 2.. LOVE TRAVIS WALL!! And the way he strutted out on that "runway".. geez, the showmanship. Awesome. And I loved Doneyelle (the black girl).. She was bringing it!! Can't believe it's the finale already!! Hope Travis wins.. FOr those who wanna catch up on what they've missed, check out http://tvclips.us AND http://rickey.org (rickey rocks!!)

Here's the vid!!

Just the link cos the previous Travis clip is jamming up this site.
http://www.gofish.com/video.gfp?gfid=30-1044887

Sexpo (again!)

2006-08-06T12:15:00.000+08:00

There's lotsa stuff going on right now to make me do what i'm best at doing - procrastinate, groan and roll about in bed. What stuff? Namely the following:

I've just received a letter from Melbourne Uni, asking me to attend MY OWN graduation ceremony and I can't go because it's in August (sigh.) So, after nearly 17 years of education, i'm not going to shake the Dean's hand and wear the royal red colour gown for my graduation. SIGH. what the crap.
the huge test is coming, and one of the tutors just asked our group most innocently why we don't know some stuff that other groups know? You know what? I wonder why too.
I'm disillusioned by the lack of medical ethics here. It's depressing.. because in my very humble opinion, ethics form the basis for the practise of medicine. And, I'm just losing whatever ethics that I used to adhere so much to.

*************************
Since the title of this entry is not called "101 reasons why lz is rolling and groaning in bed", let's skip the rest of the 98 reasons and talk about .. what else but sexpo (again.. YAY!)

I was surfing The Age when I saw a review for Sexpo 2006. Seems really exciting with the new invention of the sex train rides and this crazy penis artist. Heh. Sex train rides are an innovation from the Batman train rides in which you enter those tunnels in ur little 'rollercoaster' like trains with several (unsuccessful) attempts put in to scare you outta your wits.

If you still don't get what i'm talking about, refer to the video!

http://media.theage.com.au/player/playlist.mpl/20796_2.asx?pl=20796.2

Melbournians, you would like to know that Sexpo's coming to Crown soon! :)

Tribute to Janet

2006-07-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

Weekends are boring these days. Hence and therefore the increased surge in number of video posts. Let's pay tribute to Janet Jackson this weekend.

I love Janet. I still remember that when I was twelve years old, I was naively watching Janet's Runaway MTV and dreaming that one day i would be able to do whatever that she was doing - jump from rooftops and across countries..

And of course, not to mention, trying to do some of the moves in her MTV when I was ahem young (this statement has just qualified me as old). So there, there.. just 3 vids that are still loading now.

If - all for you tour 2002

If - live

All nite (don't stop) - live

Swans from England

2006-07-30T17:03:00.000+08:00

I was having a telephone conversation with one of my closest buds when I confessed that I am actually a very 'clumsy' dancer - because I'm better at smacking a step than making it look smooth and nice.

The following is her advice:

J: "You should walk like a swan."
*me pauses, deep in thought*

J: "You know, don't be so clumsy, must be graceful and walk like the swan?"

Me: "Eh. But, swans waddle, like ducks. I don't wanna walk like the swan!"

J: "Eh, but you know the swans glide very gracefully? That's why they call it "swan lake"?"

Evil me: "Yah, but that's when the swans are in the lake. When they are outta the lake, they don't walk gracefully! I don't think any bird walks gracefully!! I don't wanna walk like the swan!!!"

*evil laughter*

J: "*pai seh* STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

So there, it's official. Please let me know if you see any swans that walk gracefully. It'd be an extraordinary sight. And it would save J a lot of embarrassment. ;p

Teachers and everything under the sun

2006-07-23T23:56:00.000+08:00

I had a splendid weekend.

Mark called me on Thursday and asked me if I would be interested to head down for a dance workshop for disabled children (or so I thought that was what it was written in his sms) this Saturday (or rather the Saturday that just passed)..

And, I happily agreed.

I woke up on Saturday morning, blur as a sotong, and feeling exactly like the following picture:

Yes, grumpy. Like super grumpy with a neckache, teethache (Yes, an entire mouthful of teeth-ache) kinda grumpy.

Normally, grumpy = I don't wanna dance mood. And when I don't feel like dancing, I'm this petulant monster... My memory just refuses to key in any data.

So, I was praying that I won't suck at the teaching kids part.

It all turned out to be a huge surprise in the end because this was Mark had in mind:

If you are squinting and can't read what it's all about. The ticket reads: "Using movement metaphor in dance for people with intellectual disability" by Low Kok Wai, one of the prominent figures in Singapore's dance scene.

And it costs a freaking $32.

And yes, my name is known as Elizabeth now. Don't ask me how.

As I was still groggy from my sleep, it all felt very dream-like (especially since I was prepared to teach and not be taught!) ...

The first person who greeted me was a very shy gentleman of 21 years old. He's so polite as he asks for my name.. If I hadn't looked properly, I probably wouldn't have noticed that he has Down's Syndrome.

It was an amazing workshop. And it wasn't simply because Kok Wai was a brilliant speaker, but more because of the participants. We had people from diverse background joining us - from dance teachers to educators to volunteers with other disabled children groups, parents of disabled children, and some kids with disability to join us as well.

What happened was an eye-opener because as Kok Wai engaged us in his movement interactions, the kids totally blew us away with their moves. They were so creative. A satay stick was used as a wand. And a while later, it became a sword. And, the wielder of the sword is this amazing little guy who has better flexibility than ANYONE else there.

Now, whoever said that these kids are disabled?

As the workshop progressed, it dawned on me that I have been away from Singapore for too long. (Yes, I know that I've been back for a year). The fact remains that my network in Singapore has been so restricted. You know how the story goes in Singapore - the smart mixes with the smart. The sciences mix with the sciences. That is the way that the social hierarchy works. And, I was soooo surprised to see everyone discussing about Art. Everyone just coming forth and contributing - talking about what they were feeling.

It felt exactly like a Student Ambassador Leadership Programme (SALP) workshop that I did in Melbourne. Save that this was held in Singapore.

And for that point in time, I felt embarrassed.

All this complaining about Singapore being blar blar blar... when it was ME who didn't go out there and see that I'm been neglecting the other side of the picture.

**********************************
Another week of clinics has just zoomed past.

I met a doctor who was pretty interesting.

When he asks someone a question, no one else is allowed to answer it but that person.

His rationale is that it prepares us for the exams, and that we would rather screw up now than during our exams.

Heh. And it just reminded me of someone.

We all probably have had countless of teachers across our lifetimes.

Who exactly are the ones who live such a huge impact on your lives?

Shockingly, I would say my dance teachers have left a huge impact on my life. Heh .. so much so for all that academic coaching for so many donkey years.

Heh, you probably know that this is gonna come. But, although learning from JD has been a mere matter of 1.5 weeks, some of the things that he said still sticks.

To put aside all of the fear and to dance because it's better to screw up during class than a performance.

And the humility that JD still holds as such an experienced dancer... He's still attending classes by other dance2xs members. And the part about scraping 'teacher-student' thing and jamming together.

And I'm wondering... if I will be able to do the same one day. Get rid of all that pride and high-and-mightiness of I-took-damn-long-to-climb-up-here-so-you-better-show-me-some-respect.

Can I? Will I?

Time will tell.

CONFESSIONS!!!

2006-07-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

Crap. I'm not doing anything productive today but watch music videos by JD!! The following is a video of Confession - the routine that i stumbled and tripped and forgot steps but LOVED so much cos it made me so emo that i wanted to cry!!

Check it out:

JD's clip!

2006-07-23T17:29:00.000+08:00

ok guys, don't watch Travis's clip first! 'Cos JD's video is finally up on youtube.. Remember that you're hearing this from HERE first!!

This dance is choreographed by JD, and performed by JD (director of dance2xs australia) and Patrick (Dance2xs international)!!

GOSH!! :) I'm so happy!! This choreo is of a very similar style to the one he did to Confession (the one that nearly made me cry). I love it!! I WANNA LEARN!! It's so to the beat and so lyrical... and that's what dance is really all about!! :)

2006-07-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

All of you gotta watch this. I loved this dance.. absolutely. Everyone's been talking about it.. and that's because it's absolutely gorgeous. Mia Michael (the choreographer) is a genius. And Travis.. oh.. my dear Travis is just a brilliant talent. :)

Straight off from So you think you can dance season 2:

Travis N Heidi

blah

2006-07-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

This entry is just a blah blah blah entry cos i think i should touch my book, then i think i don't really wanna, then i think that i should take a break, and then i think i should touch my book again. And then, my hand makes the decision - HEY, let's have some fun on the computer keyboard... After all, I've been spending 2 hours surfing myspace.com

It's a funny thing. myspace.com is the equivalent of friendster.com - (remember the crazy networking thing that everyone was so hyped up about - i even had friends who were checking them practically every hour for new testimonials and heh heh.. the latest relationship status of so-and-so.) Neways, myspace.com is the western equivalent of friendster.com

And yes, I was spying on some of my Australian friends.. Bah.. (and I won't reveal who they are..) but let's just say the internet is a scary place cos I would never really know who's really reading this blog (and I may just get sued any moment for some rubbish crap that I've written some long, long time ago).

If you haven't known, I'm a sucker for different cultures. Not that I like abandoning my own culture and indulging myself in a new one, but more because new cultures = something novel and hmm.. a new perspective of thinking? It's exciting because new perspectives make people think and ultimately change. Hence, new cultures = new thinking = another evolution of self.

It may be just me.. It may be the ingrown hairs of stereotypes that's sooo instilled in me. The cultures of west and east just seem so different. And, to me, it just goes to show how much a difference peer pressure, and the environment all makes. Ain't it thought-provoking that we all belong to the same species, but we think and act so differently? Yet, at the same time we are united together by this thing called human nature?

The same temptations, the same weaknesses that we see in different cultures..and of course the big four letter word - love- that unites the human race. And as a crazy med student, I'm wondering if human nature can be part of our genome.

One of my friends wanted to create a happy drug. And everyone laughs at him. But I think that it's a good thing to dream big. May be, we are just building castles in the air... But, at the very least, we have an airry castle to work towards to.

Heh. May be, just may be, it'd be nice to find that human nature gene.

Now, don't tell me that my castle is gonna collapse.

Cos i'm too thick with sleep to hear you anymore. And you ain't gonna blow up my dream in my sleep. :)

Some Lights.

2006-07-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

I've kinda promised myself that i will mug harder this week, but to not much avail. So fuck, i'm going to blog (and I'm saying this in a jumping up and down on my bed kinda manner).

Here's a silly joke that I've heard and another one that I thought of on my way to tuition some weeks back...

It's medical though, so eh.. some may not appreciate it.

1. What do you call a group of students following the consultant/registrar around the ward?

Here's the blank space to act as the cue for you to think...

ANS: Shifting dullness...

2. What do you call a houseman rushing around the hospital to see all his patients??

ANS: Housefly :)

Am I home?

2006-07-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, this was the soundtrack of my life.

And as I listen to this song, I look back at the thoughts and face of a stranger. She's familiar. Have I seen her before?

Enjoy.

Michael Buble - Home Lyrics

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

Tis is even more exciting

2006-07-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

haha, this is even more exciting news!! I managed to find Alvin's dance clips - there's five of them.. I'm going to bomb them here!!

Gosh, I miss his style. Watch them all - I love the way he choreographs and if you're observant enough, you'd notice that he applies different energies to the different types of dance he does.. so watch, watch, watch!!! :) And may be that's why it took me FOREVER to learn his style!!! What a pity.. I only did one of his class when i got back. Unitd Styles is just way too far from the city!!

His solo:

For Beatphonik:

During Unitd Styles' class:

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm a happy girl!!

Tis is exciting!!!

2006-07-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

This is exciting news! I've gotten hold of one of the auditions for Dance2XS, Australia... It's a pretty funky routine..

And the video shows the studio which I had heaps of fun at during the weeks in Melbourne! JD's standing in the background and Sarah (if i didn't recognise wrongly) was the one giggling nonstop.

Can't wait for JD and Patrick's vids!

Enjoy!

P/S It's a dance video of Jools of Maddance, Brisbane.

Crap

2006-07-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

I'll head right to the core of this matter.

This is crap.

After spending one year doing Advanced Medical Science (AMS, which can also, coincidentally, stand for aging medical student), I've realised that I'm so entirely used to creating my own schedules, working at whatever speed that I please.

Science students should know what I am talking about best. Experiments are planned according to whenever we fancy. At the end of the day, your PI (no, not private investigator but principal investigator. What did I say about acronyms?) only cares about the results. He doesn't care that you took the entire Tuesday off.

Joining the local medical school is like jumping into a pool of cold water.

It's one big splash that yells "HELLO" at you.

I don't understand what this competition in Med is all about. What all this keeping tabs on how much each other has studied is all about. 'Cos the way I see it.. Doing so is equivalent to giving oneself unnecessary pressure.

It's not as though the people in med ain't motivated enough. C'mon, almost everyone in Med is this crazy type 'A' personality. People who don't need the additional push from their environment or their teachers to go further.

We don't need a group of elites displaying the very best of natural selection.

We need a group of doctors who care about their patients enough to spend some minutes talking to them instead of writing everything off their case notes. We need a group of doctors who share their knowledge and make sure everyone advance together. Eventually, we are going to be colleagues. People who work together to make someone else's life better.

Well. Here's a start, before we make someone else's life better, why don't we make each other's life better? Quit the petty competition, quit the stressful environment. And we can all have a more enjoyable day.

And for some of us, we just need a tiny jab of confidence in ourselves, that we are going in the right track, the right pace.. Cos I really think we all are. So quit the worrying. There will always be things that we don't know.

Remember this: Doctors ain't God.

Meddish

2006-07-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

I've been learning a new language recently. It's called Meddish.

Let me show you some words of this new language:

F/U: Follow up or F*** u?
THBSCO: typo of 'tabasco' or total hysterectomy bilateral salpingos oophrectomy?
CO: Chinese orchestra or carbon monoxide or cardiac output?
SOB: crying patient or shortness of breath?
BGIT: A new version of basic military training (BMT) or bleeding gastrointestinal tract?
ARU: acute retention of urine or acute rehabilitation unit or angry red urine?
NSTEMI: wrong spelling of the word 'stem' or a word that sounds ridiculously like "don't stare at me" or non-ST-elevated myocardial infarction?
PR: permanent resident or per rectal?

Here's one last one:

9. I/V: intravenous or in vagina?

Have a good weekend.

P/S thanks for all the encouragement in the previous post, girls! sigh.. can't wait to see all of u again!

About me

2006-06-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

I'm crashing.

Suddenly my world seems to be collapsing. And all of that grief is finally hitting me.

It's not extraordinarily puzzling why kiki hates the airport. I guess those who have studied abroad have a love-hate relationship with the airport.

I still remembered the last time I was at Melbourne airport. The last time when I was slumped comfortably onto the chair and staring out of the airport's window at the plane that I was about to take. And, suddenly, I just felt like crying.

But you know what?

Lz has always been good at suppressing her own feelings until one day they go out of control and she does the most deranged things on earth.

Just as tears were about to fall, I recalled kiki telling me not to be sad, and not to cry. I don't know what it is in me. This crazy pride or crazy will that always stops me from being 'natural'.

Perhaps, it is this pleaser in me who always wants to live up to people's expectations. So much so that I forget who I really am.

I didn't cry when I first left Singapore for Melbourne. When my grandma, my mum, my brother, my closest friends were bawling their eyes out.

All because somebody told me that I'm strong and that I won't cry. A case of me biting back all the tears to live up to those expectations again. In the end, I was being labeled as 'unfeeling' for not crying. So, what should pleaser lz do now?

And, all because of kiki's words, I didn't cry in Melbourne, when so much of me is grieving away for what I have to leave behind - the culture, the dance, the education, the lifestyle, the friends. Then again, after all of the 'flying here, there and everywhere' in the past few years, I have come to the conclusion that there's no better way to get over this than to keep looking forward.

But now, I am tired.

I have no strength left to look forward.

I don't want to be the strong character that everyone claims to know.

I just want to be me.

The me who can cry, can feel and can emote.

I don't want to leave up to your expectation, my expectation anymore.

I just want to be me - but now I'm so lost because I don't know what makes up 'me' anymore. Melbourne was a part of me. And now, it's not going to be there anymore.

It was a funny thing. I met 3 doctors from the University of Melbourne today in the Singapore hospital. And they were so comfortably integrated into their working place already. Yet, all I could do was to look at them and wonder how they did it. How are they keeping the part of them that's Melbournian in them whilst soaking up the local stressful culture?

Perhaps YL is right. Overseas doctors are more willing to teach, friendlier and more encouraging than local doctors. Perhaps, that's the way to start. Honestly, Melbourne has changed my life - I'm not the same person I was pre-Melbourne and will never be.

I don't want to be the typical Singaporean. I don't want my life to revolve around work. I know that I have to work hard, and that ultimately my patients are my motivation. But, I also need to find out who lz really is in Singapore. Because I am so chipped off, so weak like a seedling that peer pressure is blowing me off my roots.

Having said all of that, I still cannot believe that I will be saying 'goodbye' to Xueling and Soh Ai. I guess it's true that time will fly and that 2.5 years will pass quickly. But, who's to know what 2.5 years will do to each one of us? It's been shocking to see what time did to some of the friendships that I used to cherish. Yet, all that you can do is to shrug and walk away and claim that it cannot be resuscitated.

Saying goodbye to Soh Ai is like saying goodbye to a family member. Literally because being a housemate is analogous to being a family member. The person whom I turn to when I need a hug, need to whine, need a listening ear. The person whom I can be so comfortable with, and let down all of my defences (i'm a person who's slow to warm up). All the crazy times when we do rapid 'marketing' in Queen Vic, run around looking for an apartment, buying furniture, putting together furniture, watching Neighbours daily at 6.30 pm, talking about Neighbours like they are our next-door neighbours, cooking daily meals. Ai is like a dream housemate cos she's so neat and tidy and goes around policing all the things that char and i always bochap about.

The same goes for XL. The person I date every week. I'm so used to having her in my life because she is like this solid block - someone i know i can count on and turn to whenever i'm down, need to whine or need help with moving house, etc. We should hold the record for having the most dinner conversations - from sex to work to the 'shifting dullness' from Singapore to Melbourne.

Tomorrow is really going to be a tearful day.

Before I sign off, I just want to wish Ai and XL all the best.. and I really hope that everything goes well in Melb. :)

sytycd 2: travis wall and martha

2006-06-25T12:07:00.000+08:00

Apparently youtube's violated the copyright laws by allowing sytycd's tubes to be viewed.

But fear not, there's always veoh.com

Fans of the show: here's a clip from Travis Wall and Martha performing a hip hop routine. Chill. :)

Yea. And I'm saying that Travis' gonna win it! bah!

My Dance Journey

2006-06-24T08:51:00.000+08:00

Seeing that a new turning point in my dancing career may be approaching, I just want to write down all my theories of dance as I hit back into the local dance style. I just don't want to lose whatever values Melbourne has instilled in me.
*********************
I was a closet dancer.

I've always adored dance - the MTVs being my main source of obsession. Somehow, joining dance in secondary school always seemed so out of question. Back then, dance was for the hip and the cool. The rest can just be wannabes.

And so, I hid at home and I danced to whatever I want.

Wham, come Melbourne. No more stereotypes, no boundaries, and hell, if you wanna dance, dance. Everybody dances here - fat, slim, fair, dark, who cares?? Suddenly, the saying, "dance like nobody's watching", has never seemed more real.

I've been very lucky to have started my dance education in Melbourne for 2.5 years. 'Cos you see, the dancing scene in Melbourne just emphasized so much on the passion for dancing, and the 'feel' for the music.

I cannot say this more. I cannot say this louder. Dance is not to show off or to grab attention. Rather, it is whatever that is inside you that needs to be expressed. Dance is about expression. A lot of people would beg to differ here. But my personal belief still holds that style is much more important than memorising steps. One big thing that irritates me is how the students over here are sooo fussed up about remembering all the steps in a class and end up not learning the style.

What's the point of you getting ALL the steps, but your style still screams "I'm not dancing, I'm just placing my hands and my legs?" What's the point if I totally cannot feel what you are trying to say? It's just like trying to do jazz to Missy Elliot's songs - wrong wrong wrong!

In any case, even if you don't end up learning the style (seeing that it normally takes 3-4 months to get relatively similar to someone's style), then please please develop a unique sense of style. I guess learning in Melbourne has been very nurturing because the instructors respect that each dancer comes in with their personal style and they allow you to interpret the dance - so long as you hit when you are supposed to hit.

And, you know as with all learning experiences, get out there, learn what you have to learn, don't be afraid to make mistakes - just don't give up with a mistake. There's no one there to judge you. You are your own judge.

Finally, after all of my big philosophies, I just hope that one day the dance scene here will transformed into one that shares - with no hierarchy involved. No senior or junior kinda thing. One that is less obsessed with the memorising of steps. One that learns to express and emote more.

'Cos really, really, that's what dance is all about.

God's Callgirl

2006-06-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

I'm still feeling a little confused as I'm typing this entry. Yet, I know that I can't rest till I let out what's pent up inside.
********************
God's Callgirl is a book written by Carla Van Raay, who was born Dutch, raised in Melbourne, and now settled in Denmark. A memoir of her life, Carla spent years writing about her personal journey as a young girl who suffered from sexual abuse from her dad, the oppression she felt as a nun in the order, and the sexual liberation she initially experienced as a prostitute.

The book left me with an urge to explore my own beliefs, the social stereotypes that I have always followed, and very definitely made me think more about sexuality.

As a young nun, Carla did the unthinkable by falling in love with another sister. Her confession to her superior did not help matters, contrary to what she had naively thought. When this happened, Carla had never heard of the word "lesbian". Love sprung forth so naturally. It's funny how when we have been brought up, we were taught that the boy-girl romantic relationship is the "right" form. The idea being reinforced repeatedly through the mass media, and the local government's attempts to squish major events organised by the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transexual) community.

Then again, how do you define what is right?

That the way of nature is right?

Was Carla's feelings for her fellow nun not natural then? Was it influenced by the mass media? The peer pressure? (Assuming that no one has read this book, I'll tell you that the answer was "No" - there's no TV in the nunnery in those days)

Carla's inability to conform to some of the rules in the order of sisterhood echoes my own sentiments about the culture I'm part of.

>>> flashback two weeks ago <<<<<<

Hous, JW and I were having Dutch pancakes at some fancy cafe along good old Lonsdale

Me: "One of my Melbourne coursemate's taken a year of leave to teach English at a third world country"

Hous, JW: "Yea, the Australians are big on the undeveloped countries. I'm sure as Singapore develops more, it will give as much to the third-world nations."

Me: "I'm more amazed by how the people here are not restrained by the timeframe. The life timeframe of by this age, you gotta graduate; by that age you gotta be married, blar blar blar."

Hous, JW: "Yes, that's true. But, we have responsibilities - to our families, to support our families."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<

It's true that we have responsibilites. So do our foreign counterparts. Perhaps, the word "responsibility" takes different meanings in the eastern and the western world. Responsbility in the eastern world meant taking good care of the family by providing for the family. Responsibility in the western world meant moving out at the tender age of 18 and taking care of himself/herself without any other help from the family.

Filial piety, as Asians so often pride themselves in, what exactly is it? Living at home with mummy and daddy, and contributing to the monthly expenses? Or just the simple fact that mummy and daddy will always be those special people whom you would go a limb without for?

God's Callgirl also made me question several other issues. As a prostitute, Carla obviously slept around (bah..) Carla did not become a prostitute due to her circumstances. She had a loving husband whom she claimed loved her much more than she loved him. A cute daughter who needed her attending to. She could easily teach to support herself and her family. However, she needed to explore her own sexuality.

It is at this juncture that I am once again perplexed by the complexities of relationships. It doesn't become easier with thinking. Perhaps, it only becomes harder.

Whilst I was midway through the book, a friend of mine asked me if I would stick by my partner if he were to sleep around. What apt timing. Carla's mother stuck around when her husband slept around and even had oral sex with his own daughter.

What exactly is sex? Can the currency of sex be counted in an equivalent currency of love? Then again, what exactly is love? When Carla slept around, she claimed to have felt an impossibly strong bond to a married man.

Ultimately, this is a book that leaves you questioning the constructs of your life. Like a test, it sets you thinking. You may arrive dissatisfied at your own answer. But, like Carla has said it, it is acceptance that makes her the woman she is now - at peace.

Gen Two Tech's Shaun

2006-06-20T14:36:00.000+08:00

BAH. Instead of trying so hard by attempting to describe the hip hop abroad, I reckon that it's a bit easier if you were to click play on the following clip.

That's the hip hop that I wanna learn. And the hip hop that my soul is truly dying for.

That's dance. It flows. Like water. And it matches the music, like the lock to the key.

Watch on.

The many faces of me

2006-06-17T11:23:00.000+08:00

I was chatting to a friend on MSN a few weeks back when he exclaimed that I don't look like the person in my photos. So, it was really hilarious when he thought that a person in an emoticon was me. Heh. To further appreciate this joke, please click on the following picture to enlarge it.

Cheers.

Miss ya! :'(

2006-06-16T14:11:00.000+08:00

Well, this is going to be the last post on Melbourne 'cos I figured that I spent most of the days shopping, dancing, and meeting people and I don't wanna bore everyone to sleep.

Yups. This specially goes out to dear Kiki who put up with me for 12 days! I'm going to slap all the pictures of us here.. And I just wanna shoutout: I miss ya!!

Us looking a civil, cosy and nice in our room. (I think i was super super hyper after a session of House and Jazz Funk)

BAH! We were both supposed to look bad in this photo but Kiki ended up smiling! BOO!

OK, the pretty girl complied and now we both look BAD! YAY!DON'T MESS WITH US!

The Family

2006-06-16T13:35:00.000+08:00

Monday was soo much fun! It was the first time that I went to Melbourne Music Academy (MMA), home of Dance2XS. MMA's only been opened in February 2006. Learning dance from the masters over there has been truly inspiring. And, it's one thing that's making me miss Melbourne so much.

I guess in a nutshell, the biggest difference between dance in Singapore and Melbourne has to be that the choreography is so pure, and so right from the heart that sometimes when I'm doing the piece, I feel like crying. Not just because it's hard, but more because it goes so well with the music and that you can really feel what the choreographer is trying to express.

Watching and learning from JD has left me so starstruck and so inspired. If you wanna know more about JD's resume, click on the link (includes all his work together with Janet Jackson's choreographers, etc). In short, JD's Australia's biggest hip hop choreographer. His moves are so clean, so sharp yet smooth at the same time. And I can only look at him and wonder if one day I will be able to dance like that. JD does lyrical jazz, breakdancing, hip hop with absolute ease.

And JD's not one of those proud, high and mighty choreographers. If there's anything that you need to ask, you can always turn to him and he'll try to explain whatever that you don't understand to you. This guy's steps may not be simple to learn but he breaks them down for you so that you can easily grasp them and perform them.

I talked to him after one of the dance classes and I'm really hoping that he will come to Singapore one day to teach! It would be awesome. :)

I also took his OPEN class (yes, that scary advanced/professional level) with a running fever and screwed up, but it was soooo good. It was arguably one of the best lessons I've ever had before. We were dancing to candles. The song was Usher's Confession and the moves so smooth so slick, so together with the song that I wasn't even counting steps and just moving with whatever I was feeling. And then we had jamming session when you choose someone you wanna jam with and just do it. JD then scraped the student-teacher stuff and joined in the jamming. It was all good! I really hope that one day we would be able to have a class like this in Singapore. It would be awesome.

On a sidenote, my accent actually improved soooo much during the past week (with all that yakking with the Australians at dance schools, shops, etc) that JD was impressed by my english. He said that I had good english even though I've only been here for 2.5 years! :) haha. And it made me a very happy girl. haha. :)

I danced for a week at MMA, and during this week, I saw some really awesome classes like jazz funk. It's like girls' hip hop (think pussycat dolls) but *wow* may be even HOTTER. The girls in the OPEN class were so good that they could do two really fast pirouettes and continue in their fast moves. I'm like WOW!

I also attended Sarah's beginner class on Jazz Funk. She's the first person whom I met at MMA and she's sooo friendly, and so much fun to talk to! She's only 21 years old and have been dancing since she was 2 years old! Gosh. I love her style. So lyrical. Believe it or not, MediaCorp has apparently approached her to be the judge for the Singapore version of So You Think You Can Dance but Sarah's rejected them. Heh.

Sarah's an awfully versatile dancer - from chinese dance to indian dance, she's done them all. :)

Other than Sarah's class, i also did Kristi's OPEN class like I've mentioned earlier on, and screwed up because I was so intimidated by this girl who was dancing next to me! She looked sooo good! I only discovered the following day that the girl's the instructor of contemporary and also ballet! So, all the bad feelings of not being as good as her just flew away after that. Kristi's definitely coming down to Singapore next year, so all you dancers better watch out!! Her style is sexy, cheeky, smooth and lyrical at the same time. :)

Clumsy me twisted my ankle during contemporary dance whilst we were doing cartwheels. But I'm head over heels in love with contemporary. It's a dizzy mix of everything from jazz to hip hop to gymnastics!! And you can have African dance mixed in it as well.

Ballet class was like WHHATT? But, it's not that bad because I've done bits of jazz here and there.

All in all, I must say that I've had a very good time dancing in melbourne. Learning from people who truly eat, sleep, breathe dance. I guess I've been missing the Melbourne dance style for an entire year and I still can't get enough of it. *sigh*

Yups, so all you people in Melbourne who wanna learn dance, please go to MMA! It's really a wonderful place to start!

Dandenongs!

2006-06-16T12:59:00.000+08:00

4th June 2006, Sunday

We set off to Dandenongs (one of the mountain ranges in Melbourne) today. Not that we're exciting folks who scale mountains but more for the glorious food that's available at Dandenongs - Miss Marples. Miss Marples is well known for their deeelliiicciooouusss scones and is modelled after the famous Agatha Christie's character! :D

Here's some photos:

The fireplace in Miss Marples. It looks so traditionally English doesn't it?

The Honeycomb ice-cream at Miss Marples. Not fantastic but not that bad too.

Yummy scones!! Seriously, these taste so good with the cream and the strawberry jam!!
Us posing in front of the tea house! :)

It was a good day out - managed to meet two new people - Hyuen (dunno how to spell his name!) and Ada. They are from Korea and HK respectively. Perhaps, one of the best things I love about Melby is the fact that the people there are so friendly and you get to meet people from all across the globe.

The morning started off real funny - all thanks to funny-man, Hyuen. This guy started imitating my Singaporean accent, and told me point blank that I sound FUNNY! bah! hahaha. RAWR! But that was good cos it gave me so much motivation to get back my Australian accent! :) And it's all thanks to this guy over here that the trip was filled with so much laughter! And, I know more about Korea now!

Other than eating, we visited several vineyards. We did wine-tasting - in fact I tasted so much wine that I think I was half drunk by the end of it. All red with this crazy rush to do something wicked!

I managed to try some of the "stickies" - real awesome dessert wine at De Borteli! Yummy!

Yup, I'm going to round up this entry with some other random pictures that I took during this road trip.

An art piece at one of the art museum

On top of the giant chair

Relationships

2006-06-16T11:52:00.000+08:00

Because this trip to Melbourne has been so significant to me, I'm going to blog about each and every single moment of it despite the jet lag and not having enough sleep for the past two days. I'm going to start right from the plane.
**********************************
3rd June 2006, Saturday
The flight was scheduled to depart at 5 am in the morning. It was pure insanity - packing, rushing to the airport after the exams end - all in the wee hours of the morning. Thank God that Adrenaline is an eye-opener (quite literally).

The flight was a good start to the entire trip. It's the best flight I've taken in my life! Quite simply because there was nobody on the flight and I had the entire aisle seats to myself - that's like 4 BIG FAT seats. :D It was even better than business class cos we could lie down and enjoy the big huge bed.

Not surprisingly, I had no jet lag after this flight. The Melbourne airport felt so strangely familiar - as though nothing has changed. As though I have never left.

Strangely, it felt like coming back to home cos I had good old AVELINE to pick me up from the airport. However, before she managed to pick me up, something pretty funny happened:

Scenario: Me searching for the airport pick up spot, and getting very lost

*approaches an airport attendant*

Me: *tries to speak in an Australian accent*"... eh... can you (shucks, this sounds sooo singlish) trelll mea (trips over words), weehrree is duh airport pick up?" (Note: tongue was pretty entangled by the end of this sentence)

Attendant: *Gave me a patient stare* You are talking about the sky bus?

Me: "No, where the cars pick you up.." *decides to give up on the Australian accent*

WHAM! So the one big thing that actually reminded me of my absence from Australia is the inability to switch back to the Oz accent!

Fortunately, Aveline came along and we spent quite some time catching up - in her car. :D I'm not gonna repeat all the bits and pieces of our conversation, but I'm going to focus on the major and most common girl-talk topic - relationships (which I think had been talked about incesantly by all my girlfriends during my stay).

You have the couple who's been together for 3 years. They both know that they are not the ones for each other. And that eventually they will go their separate ways. But, no one's saying anything, and everything just goes on as before. So, what do you make out of it?
The couple who's about to be engaged but the financial side of things are sooo worrisome.
The girl who wants to get a boyfriend for companionship, security and oooohhhh-lovey-dovey love.
The girl who wants to get a boyfriend because she's never had one before and she just wanna try to see what a relationship is like
The girl who wanna get pregnant but doesn't want the guy
The close friends with different religious background
The oh-so-scandalous relationships (which I will not disclose here - cos my promise is as good as gold)
The long distance relationships that sunk during the past year.

If I were to describe my relationship with Melbourne, and Singapore. I would probably say that it looks like a 3-people-long-distance relationship, with indecisive me, stuck in the middle and unable to make up my mind.

A long-distance relationship is like a can of delicious food with a nearing date of expiry. Once you open it, you have to keep eating it 'cos if you don't, it'll expire and you can't have it anymore. But when you have finished eating up the can of food by the expiry date, it leaves you as hollow and as empty as the can itself.

I guess that's how I'm feeling now with regards to Melbourne. And some part of me is still hurting and filled with disbelief. Much like a break-up because this place has been so much a part of me.

Going back to my lousy analogy of long-distance relationships, there are times when I wish that I'm a can and this would be my labeling:

The proposal

2006-06-12T18:14:00.000+08:00

So there I was, feeling real nauseous after stuffing 3 thick slices of pizza down my throat, staring at him for a full one hour before finally plucking whatever balls I have in me (none, i hope) to pop the question.

I couldn't even phrase everything together - and i just so blurted it out admidst all that CRAZY fluttering of my heart - without making much sense at all.. hell.. if this were an OSCE, i can so imagine myself failing - no proper introduction, no signposting, no open questions, etc etc.

It was hilarious. Like most proposals are.

He squinted at me and looked real puzzled. (at the accent or at the question, i dunno). But it turned out really funny...

He thought that i studied in WA, Seattle for 2.5 years. (Does Seattle and Singapore sound alike???).

I still dunno whether he understood my question but he sure looked enthusiastic at my suggestion so let's just hope that he'd still be when he realises the truth of where Singapore is. One good thing is that I've his email now. I've his MOBILE too! BWHAHAHA. I think I should probably quit med school and become a part-time-dancer-cum-pick-up-artist.

BAH. If you're intrigued and wanna know more about the proposal, stay tune. I'm going back again later to see him again! :) ladida!

Nutty about dance

2006-06-09T14:29:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh, this is so random... i'm in Melbourne uni's computer booth and just decided to blog all of a sudden. I should be attending JD's hip hop class right now.. but I freaked out after attending Kristi's class. It was an open class.

Now, let me define what's an open class. OPEN class is meant for advanced-professionals. HELL, basically it meant that ONE MASTER teacher was teaching a JUNIOR teacher. ARGH! Some idiot told me that open class = anyone can go kinda class. it was so absolutely hilarious as i tried to remember all the oh-so-many "AND" steps (dancers, you know what i mean). And all the tiny small hand movements that Australian dance include. It was ridiculous - one step required so much head, body and leg and arms! geez. haha. Needless to say, i did not go very well. Intermediate-advanced classes always intimidate me - not only because they go so fast like a whoooooooooooooossssssssshhhh but also because everybody's sooo good that i end up checking out the dancer next to me (ok... i know this sounds so tragically wrong but ... doesn't everyone check out those who can dance well? - what's more she's next to me... )

I had lotsa fun though - despite all that lagging behind and forgetting steps and messing up ... The most fantastic moment had to be watching JD dance. I love this guy manz. He's sooo clean, soooo good that he makes you wanna fall onto your knees and kowtow to him. And to put a cherry on top of it all, JD did a spot of breakdancing, followed by 5 crazy pirouette FAST turns and then proceeded onto hip hop. He's like my IDOL!! AHHHH!!

ok.. enough bimbotic ramblings.... ciaoz!

WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE

2006-06-09T09:38:00.000+08:00

hello folks!

I'm all ready for Christmas right now! My meat so plump and fat that you probably can't wait to stuff me with herbs and pop me into the oven! OOOHHH. and my feathers' in such glorious bloom that you probably would have a field day trying to unpluck them! EEEW!

oh, i hear that it's lunch time! More fats on the way! Yay!

till then!

regards,
turkey!

Reflections

2006-05-31T20:58:00.000+08:00

it's shocking how fast life is moving forward. there seems to be a million and one things waiting for me to do them. and here i am, forever lagging behind this old man called Time who speeds faster than Light.

I'll be leaving Singapore before I know it.

Something in my guts tell me that when I reach Melbourne, it will feel as though I have never left. Then, there will be nothing else to distract me from facing the reality anymore. I wonder if it's good or bad to fill each and every day of one's life with beautiful colours but never have the time to look back at the pictures that you have drawn previously. You'd never know how far you have come, and neither will you grief over what you have lost because you didn't realise you have it in the first place.

i guess i'm just not the sort who likes to fast-forward my life too much. What's the point of having the world spin around you in a giddy high when all you are feeling inside is nausea at the rainbow-like surroundings?

******************************
i had my medicine exams today. i think i truly impressed my examiner with my knowledge of anatomy. i'm sorry that i'm gonna get defensive here - but melb did teach anatomy and i did learn the anatomy - it's just the one year break that drilled a hole in my hippocampus and drove everything down the cerebrospinal fluid (common speak: I forgot everything).

my examiner was from sydney. And that just made me realise the huge difference between my surgery exams and medicine exams. my surgery examiner was nice, but largely impatient, and pressured me incessantly (yes yes, i know i'm asking the wrong things). But my med examiner was awesome. Nice, sweet, polite. Even if I didn't know the things, she hinted that i probably should brush up. The crux to it all was that she didn't pressure me.

pardon me for putting it this way, but it just felt like a comparison between the Oz style of teaching and Sg style of teaching. Something that I know that I'm going to miss. The non-pressured style of learning and encouraging the students. The knowing that I can ask REALLY stupid questions and not be scolded or marked down.

Looking back at these weeks, there was one teaching incident that really made me boil. We were about to examine a patient with a huge thyroid. The tutor was screaming at us that we should respect the patient - she's offered us her time, etc. He then proceeded to scream at us for not knowing how to approach the patient, and for not reading up on the thyroid examination. I found it funny. Yes, we should respect the patient - slightly more than we should respect the average human being. But whatever happened to the respect that we have for each other? Students are humans too. What happened to the basic trust between human beings? Trust that we would have at least read our material - but just that we were soooooo intimidated by a screeching tutor? It's strange how the older generations here think that students are still little babies - not motivated enough when Singaporeans are well-known for their kiasu-ness.

Apart from all the non-stop complaining, i'd say that i've had a good time at the wards - talking to patients. it's especially heartening to know that just conversing with them can cheer them up - and to have them tell that to us. at least there's something more meaningful in my life rather than studying and learning from sick patients. i do hope my renal patient who was so afraid of her biopsy is doing well now. the last time i checked she was asleep and then she was discharged. And, the delirious patient - she's alright now (yes, yen yen, the one we talked to - i saw her talking to a consultant with her son today and she's fully recovered. she kinda recognised me.) And my diabetic patient who cried whilst I interviewed him for my exams today. It was terrible not to comfort the patient but to press on for more. I wished I had more time.

I guess they are the motivation to all of this. :)

Sex on the dancefloor

2006-05-31T11:02:00.000+08:00

If you didn't know, So You Think You can Dance has started its season 2 in US. And as usual, you have some weirdos auditioning for the show.

If you are in for some sadistic humour, watch the "Sex" (as he calls himself), and please don't get turned on.

While requests last

2006-05-31T07:45:00.000+08:00

Dearly beloved,

I will be heading to Down Under soon. Please let me know if there's anything that I can get for anyone down there (geez, XL it's all your fault, i'm thinking of sexual connotations to everything these days).

You know the number to sms. :)

Irony

2006-05-29T17:43:00.000+08:00

HA. this has gotta be the most ironic news of the century... A big fat photo of hernia pasted on my previous entry and i actually FORGOT to study for hernia for my surgical exams. WOOHOO. Yes, I got an interview plus examination on this. ANd guess what? I had no idea what to ask cos i was supposed to have read the chapter on the bus and i didn't!

so there, it all goes to say that you can't IGNORE hernia. they are there.. IN YOUR FACE.

The following has gotta be the most hilarious moment in the examination.

Examiner: So where do you put your finger?
Me: Pubic tubercle?
Examiner: Why pubic tubercle? I would put on the mass.
Me: OK.. *stares hard and try NOT to put my finger on the wrong mass* (hell, i would have to go back to year one if i can't differentiate between the testes and the mass)

*phew* And, praise God... I passed.

From now on, no more mocking at the hernia. :s

New inventions needed!

2006-05-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

Please note that this entry features pictures that are not suitable for the young. Read at your own risk. You've been warned.

Today was a day of wishful thinking.

On my way to Ho's house, I whipped out my Browse, hoping to get something into my very empty head. As fate had it, I should be reading about inguinal hernia examinations. Browse, being the excellent book that it is, had good REAL pictures featuring a step-by-step detail on hernia examination.

I was about to flip open my book and read it blatantly when I realise that something was wrong. Smacked in the middle of my book was this:

BAH!! The last time I was reading Browse on the MRT, a little girl sat next to me. And, hell no, I wasn't reading about inguinal hernia then. I was reading about stomatitis in the mouth. She, being the innocent imp that she was, couldn't stop peering at my book, especially at all the disgusting pictures. Her interest was so intent that I could literally sense that she was waiting for me to finish reading the text so that she can actually go on and see all the pictures on the next page. Not only was her interest intense, it was also infectious - I soon had another adult gazing into my book. Goodness knows what fever I would spread if I were to open good old Browse RIGHT SMACK onto the inguinal hernia examination. :S

It was annoying though. Cos this is the umpteen times that I'm reading this and I still can't get into my head the difference between femoral and inguinal hernia (somebody should check if there are leaking perforations in hippocampus). Anyway, I started wishing that the someone would come up with the following:

How nice would it be if we could just touch a nice little button below the picture and it would be BLURRED - enabling public reading! WOOHOO!

I believe all medical students would really appreciate an invention like this! :D

It would also prevent a lot of lawsuits (since it's now very much in fashion to 'don't guess, just sue') for indecent exposure.

A projection of what the new invention can do:
There, there! No more indecent exposure!

Hmm. And on our way home later in the afternoon, Jeannie and I spotted some durians. She was craving for them.

And then we realised that as much as Singaporeans loved the King of fruits, they also discriminated against it!

Imagine - the King of Fruits was not allowed as a passenger on MRT, buses and taxis! Poor prickly little thing! Just look at the notices in the MRT:

To stop this discrimination against durians, I thought that it would be best if someone were to come up with a new invention that stops durians from smelling when they aren't opened, and then drown everyone with their sickly sweet smell when opened! How's that? Ladida. All durian lovers would nominate the inventor for Nobel's price! :)

You are on my mind...

2006-05-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

As usual, I'm doing illegal blogging and surfing, with my Talleys yelling to me that it wants to be caressed and firmly implanted in my mind. BUT, my head is about to burst after the very much screwed-up AMS presentation. Oh well. Let's just hope that I will get my Bachelor of Med Sci in peace.
*****************************************
Something I read whilst surfing the net:

I used to live in Gamba, a village in Angola. We left the village in May 1999, when my father was taken away by men from an organisation fighting against the government. They accused my father of treason.

My mother, my four brothers and sisters and I left really quickly. We travelled on foot. We knew that we were going to Kuito, but we couldn't tell anyone because the whole family was in danger. We managed to take a few things with us. For example, we took pots to cook food on the road. We only walked at night because we were frightened of being attacked. We rested during the day, hiding in the trees. It rained a lot. We had no shelter.

Today, I live in a place for displaced people. We survive thanks to the food that the WFP (World Food Programme) gives us, and by selling wood. During the day, I keep myself busy making baskets and cars like this one. I try to sell them. I really want to go to school, at least so that I don't forget what I've already learned. But it's impossible. I can't enrol in school because I only have my fourth year primary school certificate. So I can't go to the secondary school level classes that they have here. I really miss school.

It's also really difficult not having enough food. It's terrible to be hungry all the time. I feel safe here because we're far from the fighting. One day, I'd like to return to my village in safety. But I can't imagine what our future will be like without my father. I've had no news of him.

Background information: Twelve million people live in Angola, an African country that has been at war since 1975. Around four million Angolans have had to flee the fighting and find refuge in other parts of the country. The people, especially those who live in areas where there are diamonds, have often been used by both the government and the rebels for their own ends. In early 2002, a peace agreement was signed between the Angolan government and rebel forces. Since that time, the repatriation of displaced Angolans has been underway.

For more stories, visit the Border Stories Online Exhibition.

Cryptic

2006-05-14T22:20:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Been splendid - hearing from pple across the ocean. People whom I've not been hearing from for ages - Aveline, EDWINA!! (this gal is always MIA), kiki, nicky nic! haha. :)
****************************

Didn't you grow up with your mum always telling you that one should never ever 一腳他兩船?

And I grew up, always thinking that it would never happen to me.

But in the end it did.

Who would you choose?

A hardworking man with a stable income, someone who could offer you so much security that you would never need to worry about your future. His presence brings peace. In fact, life's so peaceful that you get bored. Being with him is a familiar feeling because you know him like the back of your hand. You would never have to repeat yourself too many times because he understands you.

Or.. would you go for this man whom you haven't known for long? But being with him is soooo refreshing - like a horse you are free to roam along wherever you want. He gives you liberation. You meet new people with him, you venture out of your comfort zone with him. You feel as though you are stretching your potential with him. With him, you never feel that anything's impossible. Everyday is a bright, fresh new day with so much to look forward to. You feel like an adult with him - responsible, independent.

What if one day you were to lose one of them?

Would you risk everything that you have just to go for the one whom you know you want to be with?

Medical pick-up lines

2006-05-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be studying for my abdominal exams, arterial system, swelling, lumps, thyroid, orthopaedics, edit my crappy thesis, prepare a crazy presentation which is due on tuesday. BUT, I'm throwing caution to the wind.

It's 12.21 am and I still have to read up on neuro history after this. So let's be quick.
***********************************
I was watching Grey's Anatomy yesterday. One of the female patients was going for a "female castration" - removal of breasts and her uterus.

Her husband couldn't accept the fact that she was going to do that - even though there was going to be reconstructive breasts for his wife. His reason? He enjoys sex with his wife apparently.

Perhaps, it's strange, but sex is such a huge portion of a relationship. The unity - two become one - is never going to be more valid. The euphoria after the deed, the supposedly strengthened bond and various other post-coitus effects. Very often, I guess it's all taken all for granted. Until you realise you are gonna lose it.

In any case, Izzy, the medical intern, was truly unhappy with the patient's decision to go for 'female castration' and even more upset with the husband's response. Alex, who was Izzy's special other, was ignored by Izzy for his insensitivity to the entire issue.

At the end of the episode, we found Alex going up to Izzy and saying, "I love your rack. I mean, yea I want it. But I love you the same without it."

Upon which, Izzy slapped Alex and followed it up with a passionate kiss.

Taking a leaf from the above episode and from the woo-la-la Pierre Png and Andrea De Cruz scarry Slim 10 episode, I thought of the following pick-up lines that one can try on gals (preferably medical personnels):

"Honey, mosquito bite? No worries, I will donate my blood for you."
"Can't see, honey? Don't worry, my eyeballs will look pretty on you."
*Oink* *Oink* *wags pig tail* "Sugar, having abnormal heart valves? Don't worry, I'll die for you and live inside you forever!" (Think pig valve replacement surgery)

Because time is running short, I thought that the following one will please ALL girls:

"Afraid of the pain? Afraid of the side effects? Don't worry, honey, gimme your uterus. I will deliver for you instead."

Till the next time. :) Chill!

Overwhelmed

2006-05-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

Life seems to have been swept over by a hurricane. It's funny how one small nod, one decision can change your life. Entirely upside down.

I just wanna say thanks to the following ppl because I won't be here without all of you (even though i think practically all of them won't read this cos they are academias)

Yap Seng
Sam
Sue
Lesley
Rita

I'm really thankful to the above for taking time out of their busy schedule to write for me, to give me advice, support me and most importantly, listen to me, (and on one occasion, offering me the tissue.) haha. ;)

And to the following friends, who've never stopped encouraging me, praying for me through all of these years. Those who were soooo happy that they were squealing like little pigs for me. It had been difficult. Thanks for not letting me lose faith in this path that I so stubbornly chose. And for telling me not to give up though hope was scarce. I have been very blessed to have these people in my life, and in a way it feels as though God has paved the way right from the start, making this quite a smooth transition. :)

Charster
Ah Ho Ho (;p - u noe what this is for.)
Kiki
Yen Yen (yes yes, i owe u a biggie)
Ai ai
XL

Right now, I'm still all mixed up and definitely wishing I have more hands than an octopus to keep both varsities happy. But all I wanna do is to escape and run away now.

Cos stress is not something I like to face up to very much. *shrugs*

P/S And I forgot to thank one more person! YEELIN!! For helping me to settle in and making me feel so welcomed! :) Thank God for her! Or I would have been this clueless lamb, trying to make out something outta this disorganised outcome!

EEEwwwWW

2006-05-01T12:49:00.000+08:00

Somebody posted this on my dance forum and I nearly died laughing.

It's like ten Kenny Sias rolled into 4. BWHAHA. Make sure you are near the toilet before you click Play, cos it's like a mild emetic.

Meet Noelle

2006-04-30T18:16:00.000+08:00

We should really get one of her EACH.

Cafe Cosmo

2006-04-27T17:54:00.000+08:00

If you are a big Settlers Cafe fan and you love clubbing and booze too, then you should check out Cafe Cosmo!

A warning though, Cafe Cosmo's not exactly the place where you hope to get some quiet times with your friends and to have a very good time catching up with little snippets of anecedotes. Of course, you are free to attempt to do so - but at the risk of losing your voice by the end of the night.

Like Settler's, Cafe Cosmo allows her patrons to play card games such as Uno, Old Maid, Donkey (Guess who, don't sue), etc. Other board games include Pictionary, Scrabble (BAH! But we played that eventually).. And the scariest one - Jenga (Ho, I've just realised that you were right - you were very unlucky that night. :p).

Games are free of charge, unlike Settler's, and you can drink yourself silly with the flow of vodka, tequila, and wine. What makes Cafe Cosmo truly different from any other cafe is its unique decorations - shelves filled with action figurines, exotic lamps, posters featuring alternative music and of course the very different style of music that seemingly blasts one's ears away.

All in all, Cafe Cosmo's great if you are planning not to talk to your friend, have a good drink, chill and enjoy the music. :)

Flea without fleas market

2006-04-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

Any takers??? :D - check out http://www.labelluv.com/fashbash.htm for more details.

Morbid

2006-04-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

This knocked on the door a few months ago, on an MRT train
**************************************
Death can knock today, tomorrow, yesterday, anyday...

On a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, today...

In a bus, train, plane, toilet, car, hospital, house, school, everywhere...

To a teacher, pianist, dancer, scientist, lawyer, doctor, dog, cat, anyone...

By murder, suicide, accident, nature, 1000000 ways...

So, why don't ya let go, sing, dance, scream, love, smile, laugh, be yourself...

'Cos ya'll never know when's the last goodbye, love-ya, hug, kiss, miss-ya, *fill in your own word*

****No day but today**********

Shoutout

2006-04-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

I thought of this 5 minutes before the anatomy started greying (read: Grey anatomy). Neways, a shout-out to all my friends (I was so bored and i saw Jeannie online - and wham, i got inspired. :p):

妙晶妙晶
亮晶晶

阿芳阿芳
好芬芳

嘉芬嘉芬,
多點分

小玲小玲
大森林

軒軒, 軒軒
變神仙

愛愛,愛愛,
真不矮

張敏, 張敏,
要靈敏 (char, I'll translate for u: it means agile. :p)

I think over the years, my chinese has flown over the moon with the cow. So, it's good for some revision. Neways,i will stop here for now! Will add more when inspiration strikes.

Take the Lead

2006-04-22T23:15:00.000+08:00

I was expecting a little more hip hop from this movie (though its emphasis is supposed to be on ballroom dancing). Nevertheless, it was inspiring cos I think i've learnt several new 'philosophies' on partner dancing.

Previously when I was doing salsa, I've always thought that it was a 'submissive' and almost 'brainless' dance because the ladies don't have to think - they just follow the guy wherever he goes. It was very unlike hip hop when you can freestyle, whack, bam, shake - whatever you want.

But Take the Lead puts it so nicely. Ladies ain't submissive or 'losing' when they are dancing with their partners. The guy proposes a step and the lady always have the choice to accept or not. Suddenly, that brings an entire new height to partner dancing. :) That perhaps, every step is a decision made - that I want to be here, part of a partnership, part of a dance, and so I will belong to every moment of it.

The dancers made tango look so sexy that I'm just like WOW. Somehow intimate partner dancing still intimidates me. I still remember when I first attended the trial salsa class in Melbourne.

Salsa in Melbourne includes meringue which is a type of intimate ballroom dancing. Meringue involves partners placing their knees in between each other's. And we take turns flexing the knee. I tell ya it was a disaster - particularly if you are dancing with a shorter male partner. I was soooo worried that I would knee him in the balls and that would be IT.

I guess clumsy klutz who don't know where they are aiming should just forget about partner dancing. Either that, or find someone tall.

In the mean time, there's always hip hop. :p

OOOhhhHH AhhhhhHHH - keep the moaning and don't get grossed out.

2006-04-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

Today seems like a day full of sexual connotations. (Hell no, I'm not talking about chi kok peks at the coffeeshops leering at me - which luckily is not happening)

First, you have the Urban section of The Straits Times talking about breasts. the numerous possible ways that you can enlarge them, and how many guys prefer big boobs (WOW! what a big surprise!), and a nice evaluation of the pros and cons of implants. I betcha the phone line for that plastic surgeon would be engaged all day today.

And as I was surfing the net today, I chanced across the little pink pill. Yes, the equivalent of the little blue pill. You know what, ladies? It's time to enjoy the privilege of multiple orgasms - a gift that the men just don't get. And, yes, the site was right in a way - this pill is LONG overdue, 'cos according to this very cool scientist who does evolutionary biology, women only achieve orgasm during intercourse at a frequency of 50% at best.

*yawnz* And this reminds me of a male patient I saw during my attachment to the Urology General Surgery team.

*Patient enters, looking slightly excited*
Registrar: "So, what can I do for you today?"
Patient: "I need more pills."
Registrar: *without batting an eyelid* "How much more viagra do you need?"
Patient: "I don't want viagra. Can you prescribe me this medicine (let's call it A)? It's stronger than viagra. I've tried it before. Works so much better."
Registrar: "..."
Patient: *continues rattling* "It's around the same price too. I have this other brand that works better than viagra too. Viagra is not good enough lah."
Registrar: "..."

I think my registrar had never heard of those brands that the man was talking about and he eventually was still given viagra.

Looks like the gynaecologists would be in for a similarly tough time now.

Back to basic

2006-04-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

Haha. I've received several complaints that the old template was too hard to navigate. So, Ho, you're not the only one. (sorry, i revealed ur identity after all) I had wanted to come up with a Dummy guide. But, I've eventually decided to revert back to my old template. Easier to read and update anyway. Alrightios, take care, folks!

My Dance idols

2006-04-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

These are my own opinions about dance. It doesn't matter if you do not agree.

On a personal note, I feel that a dance instructor has to have his/her own style. There's just no point for anyone to attend someone's class only to learn moves that the instructor has copied from ANOTHER instructor.

Dance is about expression, and that is why it is important for a dancer to have his/her own style. I think feel is the fundamental of all dances. You can be technically strong, technically correct, but IF I can't feel you, if I can't feel the emotions that you are trying to convey, then the dance is not good enough. I say it again. Dance is an expression.

If you don't get what I mean, think about it. In the genre of hip hop, I can have an angry/frustrated and highly aggressive dance style (think You Got Served). I can similarly have a relaxed form of dancing as seen in japanese hip hop. Or even a happy dance style in the form of locking. If I were to change the genre of dance to jazz, I can similarly have different emotions.

Right, back to the main topic. I just wanna pay tribute to all my dance idols. Nope, not in the likes of Tina Landon (who is Janet Jackson's choreographer for years), but other less well known dancers:

Rino Nakasone
Rino is not only an amazing dancer, she is also one determined dancer. Rino was born in Japan and only made her way to US in 1999. From then, she has made numerous accomplishment in the highly competitive dance scene of US to star in Britney Spears' concert and also Janet Jackson's world tour. She also starred in You Got Served. Read more about her at OneCypher

Watch the following clip for her freestyle:

Alvin De Castro
AHHHHHHHHHH. Yes, yes, yes, he's my instructor from Unitd Styles. Alvin has made rapid progress in his career last year. Apparently, he's the director of a new dance company, called Beatphonik, he also won a scholarship to the New York Broadway Dance centre. WOOHOO! I'm so proud of him. Alvin's dance style is so unique and funky at the same time. And I love the way that he occasionally breaks out of his typical dancing style to explore something new. :)

Local idol: RYAN

This goes without saying. Ryan self-taught himself dance at the age 23 to become the maestro he is today. He makes dance looks so easy! Check out OSchool where he's teaching...

Local idol: Michael

haha, my new idol. Michael has gotta be the best popper in Sg. It's sooo amazing to finally meet someone who can do all the things I've seen on all of those MTVs. Like Ryan, Michael self-taught popping. And I take my hat off to that cos popping has gotta be one of the hardest dance form around, requiring good control of weight transfer, coordination between different muscle groups, etc etc.

I think the talent in all of the above mentioned are just amazing. :)

Dance maniac

2006-04-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

I've been MIAing these days because I've practically been dancing every day of the week. Not that I'm complaining cos I've been quite happy with most of the classes (save hip hop) these days.

After 4 years of hip hopping, I've decided to quit doing hip hop at the studios and to stick to self-improvisation at home. In the meantime, I've switched to doing other genres of dance like jazz and popping. Just a short description of what happened during these two classes.

Lyrical soul class

Carol's usual street jazz class was changed into "lyrical soul" class. As you can probably tell, all the street element of the former street jazz class has been stripped. YIKES. Imagine my horror cos I've been doing street style dance (think hip hop and salsa) all this while. It was SCARY.

When I first stepped into the dance studio, practically everyone was in their jazz shoes. Jazz shoes are different from normal shoes, they typically look like the following:

Jazz shoes

Normally, nobody would buy a pair of jazz shoes unless a) they are serious about jazz --> they have done jazz for a very long period of time, or b)they have lotsa money to spend. So there I was, a greenhorn among the experts.

Actually, the class started off fine. After 3 weeks of jazz technique, I'm getting the hang of all this mysterious talk about the sacred "centre" that every jazz dancer talks about. And the "pull up". It is an amazing thing to feel another entire different muscle group. The challenging part came when we had to do chaînés (described by Wikipedia as a series of quick turns on alternating feet with progression along a straight line or circle.). BAH! I was never officially taught this. But, praise God for all those spotting classes in salsa. PHEW. I managed not to crash anywhere.

The ultimate killer came when the choreography involved 2 pirouettes. Pirouettes are turns made on one leg (tip-toe please). View the following picture for further clarification:

Pirouettes

And that was when I gave up. I mean I can't even hang in there for more than 8 counts with one leg above the floor. Much less turns. Sigh.

Popping class

First of all, I just wanna say MICHAEL IS A FANTASTIC popper. Popping is like this rare art in Singapore. You can hardly find anyone who does popping well. If you are wondering what the hell is popping, check out this clip...

And it was fun - learning all the waves, the botting, the oh-my-god-i-still-can't-get-it sliding. Ha, and it was good to be the only girl outta the 3 guys cos i get to whine. In any case, it was a challenging class cos it involved so much control of different muscle groups and you had to make it look easy at the same time.

Also, I'm really hoping that more people will come along for this class cos it's awesome and we can do with more poppers around in the local dance scene! :D

Email me at redhotcoldturkey@yahoo.com if anyone wants more details! :)

The Greying House

2006-04-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

I know that I raved non-stop about House a few months ago.

But this entry ain't gonna be that blockbuster entry that I have been talking about.

It's true that I enjoy watching House, so much so that I practically live, breathe , eat House for a period of time. It took a meeting-up with Mr. oh-so-eligible-funny-and-nice-but-is-getting-married-soon SQ to point out to us that as much as House is seemingly good at solving these medical conundrums, the cases presented each week are also very much rare cases and essentially not the things we would be seeing in daily medical life.

And it made sense. How many cases of heavy metal poisoning caused by a murderous wife (season 2 episode 15) are we going to meet in reality? Or how about the supermodel who had male pseudohermaphroditism (Season 2 episode 13)? On a sidenote, male pseudohermaphroditism = person with XY chromosome but has female genitals. C'mon, how many supermodels would you meet in the hospital as a doctor? 1/1000? Multiply that by male pseduohermaphroditism which has a population occurrence of 1 in 15000 live births. Tell me how many lifetimes would it take for you to meet such a patient.

Would you always be that arrogant, that confident as a doctor? Would you always be omnipotent, never wrong like House? House M.D. makes great entertainment, but a bad learning exercise. Honestly, I would not want to become like Dr. House. Not because I don't want to have such great diagnostic ability, but because I believe that medicine is about interacting with the patients.

Having said all of that, I'm increasingly enjoying Grey's anatomy. Simply because it is so much easier to relate to. The fear of doing an operation wrongly as an intern. The loss of confidence because you couldn't clear one of your entrance test. The inevitability of doing something wrong and having the courage to own up or risk killing a life because of your error. The Hmongs and their different beliefs about the human body - that disease is caused by loss of a soul. Medicine seems so much more real here.

'Cos Med is not just about the puzzle.

Dream a little dream part 2: Seychelles

2006-04-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

It was on my KL trip a few months ago when I bought Female magazine. Unlike the typical articles on fashion, makeup, babes, hunks that you normally find in a ladies magazine, I found an article on a HOT HOT HOT destination spot - Seychelles. It's like P-A-R-A-D-I-S-E.

Seychelle is located in the Indian ocean and house more than 100 tropical islands. The beaches are absolutely gorgeous. And I'm sticking up lotsa pictures to flaunt Seychelle's natural beauty.
For more information, you can visit http://www.seychelles.com for more information. I think all divers would be super excited to go there cos the underwater pictures just look so good. And just by the way, do you know that Singapore's having a dive expo? I can feel those temptations tantalising the divers. Heh heh heh.

Can't get enough of Seychelles from these pictures? Check out the top three beaches of Seychelles! More paradise awaits! ;)